SERIOUS LUNCH

Our blog moved

2010-05-21T13:37:00.006-04:00

Hey guys,

Our blog is now hosted by Tumblr, update yur RSS and join our tumblr community (please).

http://seriouslunch.tumblr.com

Classic old "Corn Cob" joke (sorry for posting this)

2010-04-30T12:45:00.006-04:00

Two guys were driving down an old back road when all of a sudden they run out of gas. They think to themselves "what should we do?" One of the guys looks up and sees an old house a little ways up the street. He says, "Why don't we go to that house and see if they have a phone." The other guy says, "Sure, why not?" and the first guy says "Yeah, exactly."

So they walk up to the house and ring the door bell. An old lady opens the door and says,"Hello, can I help you?" They one guy says, "Yes, do you have a phone we could use, our car ran out of gas a little ways back." Then he looks at her and realizes this old bat is blind as a doornail! The old lady says,"I'm sorry I don't have a phone, never saw the point of those things, but I'll tell you what: you can stay here the night and then walk back to town, in the morning." The guys say "That would be great, thanks alot." Then the old woman says "But only on one condition... one of you has to have sex with meee!!!" The guys look at each other each raising one eyebrow thinking she must be fucking nuts! But then they think well its the only way to get back, plus sex is sex after all, who doesn't like to get their dick off now and then even if it is with a dried up old wrinkly blind bitch, so the one says, "Ugh, fuck it, I will sleep with you, you blind old bitch!" and the old lady goes "God, finally" and licks her lips, exposing her tongue which is small and dried up like a bird tongue and the guys see it and shudder like a ghost walked over their grave.

The old lady says come on in. Later that night, the old lady is getting ready for bed and yells to the one guy from her bed, naked under the covers and already twaddling herself "I'm nearly ready!" The guy shouts back "No way, we'll do this in the morning after I've had a full nights sleep!" The old lady groans and shouts back "fine" then takes an ambien and falls asleep. The guy is thinking to himself, "Oh my god what am I about to do!" Meanwhile, the other guy is already sawing logs without a care in the world because what the fuck does he have to be worried about, he doesn't have to fuck some bone rack twice his age. Anyway back to the old lady. She sets an Indian alarm clock for 4:30am, and get up and goes in the other room really quietly and starts like rubbing this guy's shlong through his pants which in his sleep is really good until he wakes up and thinks a skeleton is trying to steal his soul. But low and behold it's just a blind horny old lady on death's doorstep that needs to get filled out before she goes gentle into that good night and kicks the bucket. But speaking of buckets, this batty old bitch keeps a basket of shucked and cooked corn in her foyer for some reason, she probably just loves corn and wants it handy so she can enjoy a cob on a whim. So the old lady grabs this guy by the dick and pulls him towards the bedroom in a surprisingly forceful tug. But on the way the guy he spots the bucket full of cobs and grabs it by the handle and in a stroke of genius thinks to himself "This old bitch is blind, meaning she can't see, meaning maybe I can use theses corn cobs to fuck her instead of my stupid dick!" So he picks up the bucket and sits it next to the bed. He then gets in bed and reaches for a piece of corn in a real discreet way the blind bitch thinks he's just spitting on the floor but he's grabbing the corn, and he starts going like "just a second, please just let me get this dick hard, give me a fucking second to get hard already" but he's just sitting there picking lint out of his belly button with one hand holding the cob with the other, trying not to look at the squirming pile of vintage human masticating frantically as she slaps her pussy to warm it up for an old fashioned long-dicking. So anyway the guy finally goes "I'm ready, let me enterrrrrrr!!! and he leans forward a little and jabs that cob deep into her guts and proceeds to probe all around inside the old lady.

She is moaning and groaning, saying it is the best she ever had and "y'all feel different" and the guy keeps getting different pieces of corn, because she's really destroying these things and he doesn't want the kernels to start accumulating inside her. And each one after he's shoved it up in her sour chamber he throws it out the window.

After an hour or so the guy has basically fucked her into a coma or something, she's definitely unconscious and barely breathing and the guy accidentally glances at her crotch as he's leaving and it looks like a starving Indonesian's distended belly: it's something he'll never get out of his mind the rest of his life, it just hovers there in the peripheral of his consciousness and every once in a while emerges like this massive leviathan in a silent ocean at midnight to start him screaming and gnashing his teeth and he excuses himself to go into the men's room and cry for a little while. So he goes outside and the other guy is there sitting in the old lady's rocker with his feet up on another chair re-reading yesterday's newspaper and humming to himself. And he looks up at his buddy who is harrowed and pale as a ghost and starts to laugh, then after a while he says to the guy "Boy do you have it bad! The whole time you were in there fucking that woman's life away I was outside enjoying delicious buttered corn on the cob!!!"

Greenpoint 100

2010-04-29T17:07:00.002-04:00

I'm auctioning two drawings this weekend as part of the Greenpoint 100 benefit for the Greenpoint public library.

The Greenpoint 100
Saturday, May 1, 11 AM – 2:30 PM
Greenpoint Library
107 Norman Avenue
718.349.8504

Sidewalk, 9" x 7"

Hand Puppet 7.5" x 5.5"

Girl Sits Through 90 Minute Mass Solely For Opportunity To Take Half Sip of Wine

2010-04-29T10:36:00.000-04:00

Avattoir

2010-04-23T11:27:00.002-04:00

Mordorsquare

2010-04-22T19:22:00.002-04:00

Self Depreciating Childhood Nostalgia pt. 6

2010-04-22T16:00:00.007-04:00

My parents separated the summer I was thirteen years old. I knew that something wasn't right on the home front, but I didn't really see it coming. I don't imagine kids ever do.

Anyway, backslash familial drama - I was about to start high school. Leaving the apartment we shared as a family, my dad and I moved everything we owned about 200 feet to a modest split level house on the back of the property, which we rented from the same people. We settled into a new life there, two guys with the same name and a dog who had taken to chronically pissing the carpet in protest of my mom's absence (ancillary to this story but worth mentioning). It used to be that during every waking moment of my time at home, a parent was there to influence my behavior. Mornings before school, I'd get ready and leave with my dad. Arriving home later, my mom would be there crocheting or getting ready for dinner. I was kind of good by default - what kind of shit can you get into with your mom in the other room?

That all kind of went out the window, and quickly. My dad had to travel for business fairly often in the late 90s, and there were more than a few nights when I had nothing to do but hang out with my friends and facilitate buttloads of underage drinking. I wasn't throwing balls-to-the-wall parties or anything, just a rotating cast of characters from the same core group who knew my situation.

Well one night I just wasn't into it. I'd had a shitty day, I wasn't feeling well and didn't care that I had no parental supervision - all I wanted was my bed. I took a mega-dose of NyQuil, got into my birthday suit (as a man who sleeps alone is apt to do) and hit the lights. This was probably sometime around 9:30PM.

Time passes. I'm dead to the world...but something is trying to wake me up. It's a sound, a knocking. There's someone knocking. Someone is knocking on the door (this is the perfect stream of consciousness description of my thought process, you're welcome).

I'm half awake, naked as a jaybird. I spring out of bed because what if there's a fire? Or maybe I've won the Ed McMahon lottery finally, right? These are all possibilities. I'm in the foyer, about to answer the door. Shit - still naked. What's available...?

My dad has left a blazer hanging from a dining room chair, after deciding against taking it on his trip. Perfect. I'm going to put this blazer on and answer the door for people to see me. This is a great idea.

If you can conjure up how much of a person a blazer is designed to conceal, you can quickly calculate how much of my chubby body remained unaccounted for in the scheme. NyQuil doesn't like being toyed with. It expects you to stay the fuck asleep when you take it, and if you rebel against this arrangement, NyQuil will make you pay.

The price I paid was this: I open the door. My friends Pam and Lewis are standing there, a little drunk. I am in love with Pam at this point in my life. I am also very nearly naked at this point in my life.

Pam: ...what are you doing?
Me: (something awesome)
Pam: ...Are you naked?

I waited half a second and closed the door without saying another word. In the morning, I laid in bed, convincing myself it was a dream. Because of course it was a dream! Nobody really ends up naked and disheveled in front of the girl they have a crush on, right? That's some stupid nightmare shit that never really happens to anyone! Haha!

WELP - time to walk the dog (tying it all together here, see?). Get my stuff, grab the leash, open the door. Affixed to the door with chewing gum was a handwritten note:

We came by to see if you wanted to hang out, but I guess you were already fucked up. Nice suit!

Be careful what you cast

2010-04-22T14:48:00.001-04:00

Summon Bob Officer card here

The worst tattoos I saw whilst flipping through fuckyeahtattoos

2010-04-21T13:08:00.004-04:00

Cry your pardon hahaha

(a dude's foot)

The worst!!

via fuckyeahtattoos.tumblr.com

A Slammer Darkly

2010-04-20T14:28:00.003-04:00

Poggy Bottom Boys

2010-04-18T22:01:00.002-04:00

We're in a pog fight with Kleinmania. Ugh.

Pog Jammin

2010-04-18T20:56:00.002-04:00

Wild Pogs

2010-04-16T11:56:00.002-04:00

Pogenblick Studios

2010-04-16T11:10:00.002-04:00

Wade Poggs

2010-04-15T12:59:00.001-04:00

If We're Doing The Pog Thing...

2010-04-15T11:54:00.003-04:00

Kelsey Slammer

via grodoshop

Pog Wraith

2010-04-15T10:34:00.001-04:00

My Life as a Pog

2010-04-12T15:37:00.003-04:00

Bodyworld

2010-04-12T11:16:00.002-04:00

I picked up the new book from Dash Shaw at the MoCCA thing this weekend and it reminded me how much I enjoyed his book Bodyworld, which I read last year for free online (a printed version comes out this month). Shaw is one of the artists changing the medium right now contributing to new visual language in cartoons. This is worth your time.

BODYWORLD free online

Potential Desktop Wallpaper 10

2010-04-08T12:04:00.002-04:00

HIlarious Pics Pt. 12

2010-04-06T19:56:00.000-04:00

YOU WON!!!!

Christina Aguilera's new album cover

2010-03-25T17:54:00.003-04:00

Universum Film Aguileraschaft

Serious Lunch Vertigo Tour 2010

2010-03-24T14:00:00.008-04:00

We're launching our very own Vertigo tour this Spring, like U2 but with comedy. No joking for a second: you can bet it's going to be a wild and far-out experience! We'll be performing some new sketches and some old favorites. Oh yeah, especially come to our show Friday April 9th, where scouts from the Montreal comedy festival will be in attendance. Bring your loudest friends and fill our souls with laughter. We could all use some, ya know?

2010 Serious Lunch Vertigo Tour show dates:

Saturday, April 3rd NEW YORK CITY-
11:00pm at The P.I.T. (tickets here)

Monday, April 5th NEW YORK CITY-
7:30pm at Comix (tickets here)

Friday, April 9th NEW YORK CITY-
11:00pm at The P.I.T. (tickets here)

Spain by Chic Corea, Played With Electric Drills

2010-03-23T14:22:00.000-04:00

Noah Sanderson presents this incredible rendition of Chic Corea's classic Spain, composed entirely of sounds produced using an electric drill. Stop motion and jazz just go together, don't you think?

Candidates

2010-03-23T12:43:00.005-04:00

Watching the final episodes of a show you've devoted so much time to is a tough thing. On the one hand, I'm glad the producers were wise enough to set an end date, rather than drag the series on with wacky adventures for years to come. On the other hand, having the mysteries of the Island explained takes away from what got legions of fans (myself included) into LOST in the first place. On the third hand (I have four, but only three have points to make) I do enjoy how they are not explaining EVERYTHING flat out. Call me a nerd, but visiting Lostpedia has been a part of my morning after routine for the duration of the show.

In any case, old friend of Serious Lunch, Branden Otto, is selling this kick-ass print. Fanboy/girl delights!

Congressional Republicans United In Opposition to New MGMT Album

2010-03-22T12:43:00.003-04:00

Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KS) addresses the P4KPAC, flanked by other high ranking Republican taste-makers

Despite producing one of the most critically acclaimed debut works of all time, featuring hugely popular singles like "Time to Pretend" and "Electric Feel", Brooklyn-based musicians MGMT have encountered unilateral opposition to their follow-up album Congratulations from Republican members of the United States House and Senate. "I'm tired of looking at them, all that glammed out artsy crap." remarked House Minority Leader John Bohner (R-OH) "I heard that they're what, 25 or 26 years old? Where's all that world weariness in their lyrics come from? That's some bullshit." Reminded that the group released an unusually unique and fully realized first album, garnering praise from musicians across nearly every genre and era, Bohner replied "But they're so goddamn cocky about it. Oh, Paul McCartney wants to work with you, does he? Hipster fuckwads."

Most Democrats are approaching the new material with a level head. When asked about the album at a news conference Monday, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said "Since jealousy is what is it, haters are going to hate. But come on: tell me you didn't flip your shit over "Kids" in the summer of 2008. You did. We all did. Every one of you played that bitch on repeat for like, three weeks."

Serious Lunch on Jimmy Fallon tonight!

2010-03-18T13:20:00.008-04:00

R. Kelly is the world's greatest singer. Who knew Bob and John were the world's greatest hold-your-nose-against-your-friend's-for-a-long-time champions? This morning they bound their heads together with a belt from 1994 and took the subway over to Fallon's studio. At the ten hour mark they'll break the world record for touching your nose to your friend's nose. Jimmy is going to interview them and ask why anyone would ever spend a day doing this.

Here's a clip from the live video stream of them sitting nose to nose in the green room

Check out the Jimmy Fallon show tonight at 12:35 EST for the coverage!

Kells in the studio

2010-03-16T14:13:00.004-04:00

This just made my day. Here's some great candid footage of R.Kelly improvising and rewriting and eating Chinese food. Watching him sing in Part 1 is the best but it's cool to see him coaching K. Michelle in part 2. Then all his buddies come by to listen in part 3; looks like a fun time all around.

Plus and but then also a new Kells track leaked and it's sweet.
R.Kelly "Speaking My Language"

Bob has the best friends

2010-03-01T12:39:00.000-05:00

click to enlarge

Cop Out spoiler alert

2010-02-24T11:11:00.005-05:00

The new Cop Out ads incorporating word bubbles pretty much give away the whole movie. Read on at your own risk!

World Events: Friday, February 19 2010

2010-02-22T16:56:00.009-05:00

Our show at The P.I.T. Friday night was full-blown and loaded with undiluted LOL infusions. The entire audience had swollen glands, chills, weakness, and weight loss as a direct result of the potent multi-joke treatments they consented to. Here is some photo documentation by the talented Eric Michael Pearson, who was kind enough to transmit these directly to us:

Ninja Sex Party was present and vigorously transfusing metastatic laughs with their risk-taking behavior. We had a great time exchanging levity manifestations and comical epidemics were promulgated through various humor sources.

Current recommendations state that when comedy attendance is acceptable, feasible, affordable, and safe, the show on Saturday February 27 at 7:00PM with The Dan Ryan is sanctioned. Several studies have shown the positive impact of education pertaining to our live material and further supplementation with us at Mustang Sally's shortly thereafter.

buy tickets here

Live Laughs With Serious Lunch

2010-02-16T12:07:00.009-05:00

"Hello there!"
-Ancient Saying

There are a number of opportunities to have a pisser with your old boyfriends from Serious Lunch in the coming weeks. Would you like to hear more about these opportunities? If so, please press one or say "Yes" now:

You have selected NO.

Friday February 19th at 11pm - $5
Serious Lunch appears with Ninja Sex Party
at The People's Improv Theater - Tickets here: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/92980

Saturday February 27th at 7pm - $8
Serious Lunch appears with our good friends The Dan Ryan
at The People's Improv Theater - Tickets here: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/88844

Monday March 1st at 8pm - $5
Serious Lunch will do a set following John Milshier's one-man laugher
at The People's Improv Theater - Tickets here: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/98828

New Video! GIRLS NIGHT OUT

2010-02-16T10:35:00.006-05:00

We're back! Like Ma$e!

It's the wildest bachelorette party on the internet.

Featuring

Ellie Kemper
Sue Galloway
Kate McKinnon
Marcy Jarreau
and Hope Davis

Camera and Graphics Assistance - Edmond Hawkins
Elevator Music - John MacDonald
Hair and Make-up - Emily Askin

Special thanks to

Meredith Foschi
Brittawnée Enos
Dan Murphy

Coco66
Anella
East River Tattoo

Ethan Frome

2010-02-12T22:13:00.007-05:00

I saw this in The Apiary's sidebar today and really enjoyed it. Ethan Frome was one of my favorite novels from school and I briefly considered doing a weekly cartoon strip about the lead character. There's a lot of humor in all that yearning.
Apparently NY Magazine already wrote about this on their site so it might be posted all over the blogs already. But if you haven't seen it it's worth your time.

By these guys called PERIODS.
The Pigrims video is pretty funny too.

snack animation

2010-02-11T00:13:00.006-05:00

Make you hungry

My favorite things at The Art Institute Chicago

2010-02-08T17:16:00.000-05:00

New York Lottery - Ball Pit

2010-02-04T11:33:00.003-05:00

This happened:

New York Lottery Powerball "Ball Pit"

So that was lots of fun. If you have the means, I highly recommend it.

!

2010-02-02T09:48:00.001-05:00

Phantom Menace Guy Reviews Avatar

2010-02-01T12:43:00.011-05:00

Maybe it's his drawl irritating monotone, but I don't think anything this guy says is funny. Here's a brief review of this review: Cynical jaded nerd that needs to feel appreciated disses biggest grossing movie of the year to get attention through the least reputable medium available. It should also be taken into account that this youtuber's notoriety comes from The 70 minute Phantom Menace Review, a movie that is notorious for being a joke unto itself. So good job there.

Of course this is already destined for viral fame, so I'll shut my face and just say that in my humble opinion as an aspiring filmmaker, I would appreciate a concise parody instead of this drawn out unfunny diatribe.

I also like Avatar a lot. Big whoop wanna fight about it?

Detoxifying Kinoki iPad

2010-01-28T13:46:00.004-05:00

Don't ask me what I'll use it for, I just want one.

Amazon Kindle: Let me tell you what I think

2010-01-25T12:45:00.006-05:00

Pros:
- Holds a shit ton of books in a little lightweight device, obviously. Very convenient for massive novels; you can finally read Against The Day in public!
- Looks cool. Like it's a component of a storm trooper's armor or something. That's cool, right?
- E Ink display uses a tiny amount of battery- I can't find the hours of reading one charge will give, but I used it for maybe 20 hours while traveling this past weekend at the battery meter was at about half (wireless was turned off unless I was using it).
- Kindle iPhone app will synch to your Kindle so you can resume reading right where you left off. So, like, you can read your phone on the way to the bar and not have to carry a book around all night.
- The dictionary function is handy when you read as much pretentious bullshit as I do.
- The default font (Caecilia by Linotype) is clear and easy to read. (not on previous versions I guess.) This kind of blocky serif font is popular right now. It feels so good on my eyes.
- The bottom of the screen displays a percentage of the book you've completed. So you're always reading a little more to move that percentage along. It's like running with the Nike+ thing in your shoe.
- Lots of classics are available for free on Project Gutenberg & other sites.

Cons:
- It's way more fragile than a book. You can come home, toss your book on the hat rack and faint on your chaise lounge, but you can't toss your kindle anywhere. Don't put it under the corner of a table either.
- The interface is not fluid to use: you wait a second for the screen to flash when you turn the page. The web browser is slow. The D-pad is cumbersome like cumberland farms. There's no touchscreen. It's clearly not the best it can be at this point and a better version will come out soon, probably this year. It reminds me of using the original GameBoy compared to the one that's out now. Wait to see what the apple tablet is like, because it will force amazon to make some big improvements.
- Your impressive and aesthetically pleasing book collection will stop growing.
- No backlight. Why not?
- Besides public domain things, you need to pay full price for every book ($9.99 for about every fiction novel), newspaper ($13.99/mo. for NYT) and blog subscription ($2/mo for Boing Boing). Unless you look into illegal downloads. Which I should do.
- Some books aren't available on the Kindle store- I went to buy American Psycho and the only Bret Eaton Ellis book on there was Lunar Park. And I guess you can't read that one until you've read the others because it makes reference to them. So, you know... get-a-steppin'.
- The notation/ highlight feature is cool and you can find a lot of academic publications for cheap/ free but it doesn't compare to handwriting notes or highlighting. You're not going to retain it the same way because you're not doing it physically and you're probably really stupid. Good luck with that degree in Film.
- You feel like a money-wasting asshole reading one in public. If you're reading one I know you have money and I'm probably going to mug you on the subway exit stairs when no one is around I'll push you down on your face and hold a knife to your back speaking in a deep voice give me that fucking ebook don't you look at me. Now what?
- If you accidentally hit that D-pad to the right or left it will jump to the nearest chapter break. And the "previous page" function takes you to the page before the one you're on, not the last page you were on. So it's hard to get back to where you were. Like Tom Hanks in Cast Away pretty much.

So don't buy one. Your iPhone is probably a better ebook reader in most regards.
But if you do own one they're kind of fun.

Coachella looks the best this year!

2010-01-21T11:09:00.003-05:00

Have you guys heard of Coachella? It's this concert a bunch of indians throw where you go out in the desert and they burn a big man made of sticks. Check out the lineup, I'm seriously considering it! Whose with me? No one? Like always? ok

via tofutti break

SHARK TANK- by BLACK20

2010-01-18T18:22:00.009-05:00

Nice peeps at Black20 put me in their sketch.

Comedy Website Black20 created a series called Famous
This is one of the episodes.

Black20 are a cool group of professionals that make comedy videos. They also know how to get down.
Recently Serious Lunch has performed with a few members of their popular comedy website who appear in this video including Mike O'Gorman, Jessie Cantrell,and Patrick Driscoll from THE DAN RYAN.
And Michael Torpey from Michael Torpey.

Here are a few photos from our holiday show with The Dan Ryan and Michael Torpey. Add them to your scrapbook.

The Dan Ryan

Serious Lunch with Jimmy Donn

Sarah Walker and Johnny Depp

Walker and Cantrell as Icelandic twins

Patrick Driscoll and Mike O'Goreman

Microsoft Bing

2010-01-15T16:38:00.004-05:00

Eh, old news no big whoop. Here it is anyway.

Bing: The cure for search overload syndrome

A Difference of Opinion

2010-01-15T16:30:00.000-05:00

This is the status of the trains within the New York City Subway system, according to mta.info:

This is the status of the trains within the New York City Subway system according to me:

Potential Desktop Wallpaper Vol. 9

2010-01-14T17:46:00.002-05:00

Link here

Cookbook Authors

2010-01-13T13:43:00.001-05:00

Phillip Broth

Upton Éclair

Braised Eggers

Jonathan Saffron Fryer

Augusten Churros

Ziti Smith

David Frosted Waffles

Chaim Potluck

Aynion Rangs

Mario Orzo

Bret Eatin' Ellis

Euripicheese

W.E.B. Bok Choy

Franz Latke

e. e. stuffings

Impatient Man

2010-01-13T09:51:00.003-05:00

Starring
(Me) John Milhiser
Andrea Rosen
Noah Starr
Marcy Jarreau
Angie Martin
Marielena Logsdon
&
Lucille Thomas

Tony Chalk

2010-01-12T14:54:00.006-05:00

This skate video by SALAZAR is rad.

It seems like recently people are coming up with some new and exciting visual approaches to the skate video genre. Maybe it's inspired by that exploding ramp video Spike Jonze did. Awesome cinematography here, it looks like Ryan McGinley photographed it. Just a treat to watch.
(All these dudes probably had pink boogers the next day.)

via auspicies

Some of My Friends Are in Bands Part Two

2010-01-12T10:27:00.003-05:00

A couple of months ago Billy and Adam asked me if I was interested in doing a music video for their first single from their debut album as the rap duo Snakes. Here is the result.

Some of My Friends Are in Bands Part One

2010-01-11T11:29:00.004-05:00

These are my friends Men and Whales live at Trash Bar last November.

Check them out live at Arlene's Grocery Friday January 15 at 9PM. Videos shot by Bob Officer and Tim Bierbaum, and edited by Bob Officer. See below for more info on the band.

GOOD TO GO from Bob Officer on Vimeo.

EASY TO SEE from Bob Officer on Vimeo.

SO MANY THINGS from Bob Officer on Vimeo.

Men and Whales is:

Tom Murphy: Rhythm Guitar and Vocals
Brent Lazo: Lead Guitar
Clint Paul: Bass
Garrett Finley: Drums

http://www.menandwhales.com
http://www.facebook.com/menandwhales

The Proposal

2010-01-10T18:41:00.005-05:00

Fuck Yeah New Year's Mix 2010

2010-01-08T14:58:00.011-05:00

DOWNLOAD IT HERE

(tracklist)

What a party everyone! Much thanks to all the partyheads that were able to make it, in spite of the shitty weather. Worth it, right? Yes. I am right.

Of course, a large part of what made the party so fun was the five of us, and our impeccable sense of fun. We are professionals. But also, besides us, among other things, it was the music. Holy shit, such music! We played that mix the next night as we cleaned our house, and all of a sudden we're having another party.

We'd like to share the music from that night with you, as a sign of good faith. Put down the musket, put down the bow and arrow, lets give thanks.

Happy New Year!
(If the link is down let us know and we'll repost.)

love, SL

Song sequencing by Anthony Miale
Artwork by Tim Bierbaum

HIlarious Pics Pt. 11

2010-01-07T10:27:00.003-05:00

You....Bitch!

Porn Audio Re-recording

2010-01-04T22:20:00.004-05:00

Porn Audio Rerecording - watch more funny videos

Mime Ass

2010-01-04T21:29:00.007-05:00

Old video made 3 years ago.
Starring
John Milhiser and Billy Keenly from Serious Lunch.
With,
Aubrey Plaza
Seth Kirschner
Violet Kumbein
Justin Gamble

I still think it's funny.

I'm in Da' Commercial - Citibank Awesome Rose Bowl

2010-01-04T21:07:00.005-05:00

Citibank- Awesome Rose Bowl Commercial

The Real 2009 Year End List (Not For Pussies)

2009-12-30T18:19:00.009-05:00

There were lots of funny things about Tim and Anthony's "Favorite in 2009" Lists, but one of the sadder parts was that they were both written by pussies.

They'll be none of that with my list, friends. If you'd indulge me for a moment, I'd be happy to cut through the bark, trim the fat, skip ahead and get right to the truth of the matter.

And here it is: you'd be hard pressed to find someone that is less of a pussy than I, you're humble and modest listsmythe. My modesty, in fact, is surpassed only by my sheer and utter lack of being a pussy (which I am not* thank you).

So - since you now can be certain beyond the whisper of a shadow of a doubt that you are about to hear the real, pussy-free deal - let's begin.

*Sometimes I agree with pussies.

Best Movie: The Fantastic Mr. Fox

Most Fun I Had Watching a Movie This Year: Star Trek

The Two Best Movies "For Kids" That Aren't Fantastic Mr. Fox: Up, Where The Wild Things Are

Almost Best Album: Grizzly Bear - Veckatimest, Islands - Vapours, Sunset Rubdown - Dragonslayer, Passion Pit - Manners, Antony and the Johnsons - The Crying Light, Mew - No More Stories...

Best Album: Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion

Best Songs On That Album: My Girls, Summertime Clothes, Bluish

Best Songs by R. Kelly This Year: Number One, Echo, #1 Fan

Best Show on Television: Mad Men (AMC)

Funniest New Show: Modern Family (ABC)

Best Show Ever: The Wire (HBO)

Best Cartoon: The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack (Cartoon Network)

Still Makes Me Laugh Every Week: The Simpsons, South Park

Consistently Better Than Family Guy: American Dad

Best New Yorker Cover: November 2nd, 2009 (Chris Ware)

Best Vegetable: Spinach

Best Comic: Achewood

Best Live Comedy Group: The Dan Ryan

Best Catchphrase: "I wanna hit that bitch with a shovel!" (Me)

Best Books I Read: Rabbit, Run and Rabbit Redux (John Updike)

Most Exciting Sports Moment: Alex Rodriguez' game tying two-run homer in game 2 of the ALDS

Best Video Game - (Tie) The Beatles: Rock Band, New Super Mario Bros. Wii

The Best Phone: The iPhone (why would you have a different phone?)

Funniest Writer: Gabe at Videogum

Best Cocktail: Vodka and Soda with fresh lime-juice

Best Food Deal: (Tie) Free Pizza with Drink Purchase at Alligator Lounge, Free Sake with Dinner at Sakura

Not Sayin' I Would, But If I Had To: John Hamm
Put a bow on it.

2009 was my Rushmore

2009-12-30T10:11:00.007-05:00

Great year everyone! Fuck Tim's favs. Here are my favs (favorites) for this year. For some I couldn't choose just one, so get over it.

BEST Movies: UP, Where the Wild Things Are, Fantastic Mr. Fox, District 9

BEST Albums: Sunset Rubdown - Dragonslayer, Mew - No More Stories...

BEST Song: Sparklehorse/Danger Mouse feat. Julian Casablancas - Little Girl

BEST TV Show: LOST

BEST Video Games: New Super Mario Wii, Left 4 Dead 2

BEST Blog: Videogum

BEST Twitters: @michaelianblack, @robhuebel

BEST Web Video: Usher vs Goat that yells like a man

BEST Live Show: Mew at Webster Hall

BEST Ray: Blu-Ray

BEST Tears: During the first 11 minutes of UP

BEST Pants Shitting Moment: SL mentioned on The Tonight Show?

BEST Drug: Heady Boomers

BEST Friends: YOU GUYS!

Have a Happy New Year and we'll see you in TWENTY TEN! It's the future, you know.

Tim's top favorite things this year

2009-12-28T15:44:00.005-05:00

Want to know my top favorite things in 2009? Read on, chump!

Best song: Dawn of the Dead - Does it Offend You, Yeah?

Best album: Discovery - LP

Best movie: Fantastic Mr. Fox

Best DVD: La Collectionneuse - Eric Rohmer

Best commercial: Trident Layers

Best novel: All the Pretty Horses - Cormac McCarthy

Best comic: Bodyworld - Dash Shaw

Best short story: The Youngboy (Tom Moody)

Best artist: James Castle

Best twitter: Chelsea Peretti

Best web video: Colgate Wisp by Black20

Best website: Tom Moody Blog

Best video game: Super Mario Wii

Best TV show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Best restaurant: F&B

Best bar: Turkey's Nest (Williamsburg)

Best person: R. Kelly

*These aren't Serious Lunch's favorite things, just my favorite things y'all

The New Hotness For The Holidays

2009-12-17T15:37:00.003-05:00

Tim played this for me two weeks ago. Since then it has (deservedly) become the new hotness.

Yeasayer - Ambling Alp

These Are All Made Up # 5

2009-12-16T16:09:00.002-05:00

The night before last my dad comes downstairs to my bedroom and he's acting all somber and shit. I'm like "What's the problem, Pop?" He says "I just realized that you've probably masturbated at least once". FML

Howard Roark

2009-12-15T23:12:00.009-05:00

Just saw Taylor Lautner hosting SNL and it reminded me how much I crack myself up!

Click it! Click the picture to make it bigger and you can read my joke!

yessssssss!

Steve Aoki In The House vs. Robert Downey Jr. fan art

2009-12-15T11:43:00.004-05:00

Zuper Whack Aoke Remix from Zuper Whack on Vimeo.

by Zuper Whack
via Art Fag City

Puppies!

2009-12-11T22:42:00.003-05:00

Puppies

2 Years of Slungin'

2009-12-07T10:56:00.003-05:00

Remember this?

Of course you don't. We don't either so no big whoop.

Today is the 2 year anniversary of SERIOUSLUNCH.com. 2 years! That's a long time. It's basically the lifetime achievement award of internet comedy groups. But we didn't get an award. The academy snubbed us. We'll obviously have our revenge. And it will be served in a cold dish. Because that is the best kind of dish for revenge.

This is for all those people who've helped us out through the years. Thank you for your support. We've been through a lot to get here today. All of our parents wanted us to go to law school, and play football on a scholarship. We all failed, except for Bob who is the footballingist playing lawyer we've ever met. After all football is a dish best served on a cold plate. Are you following? Keep up.

Thank you viewers. Without your snide comments, death threats (yes Catholics, those death threats), and hatred for anything that has to do with dicks (they're funny by the way, get over it), we wouldn't be doing what we're doing today.

It's a fun thing to make movies with your friends. We're lucky to have sick minded people like you watching, so thank you.

More SERIOUS LUNCH to come in 2010 (Twenty Ten).

Sharks With People Teeth

2009-12-05T14:08:00.007-05:00

whoever made this wins.

via digg

Doritos videos! Have you seen them?

2009-12-03T16:51:00.003-05:00

I just found out you can embed these Doritos things, rather than linking to the awful Doritos splash page. Can you believe that splash page? Jeez.
So here they are, again, and I promise not to repost them 4 lyfe.

Bill Maher's Outlook Window

2009-12-01T10:00:00.004-05:00

(click to enlarge)

Phat edit sequence

2009-11-23T21:33:00.006-05:00

I took a Final Cut class this weekend. The computer I was on had a bunch of movie trailers and student films, I used them to cut this rad video in a couple hours.

"I only tried 50% on this film" -Lars Von Trier

"Genius work comes easily to a genius" -Tim

Awesome

2009-11-20T13:51:00.001-05:00

**Back Story**
Apparently, she wanted to make the hallway appear that it had snow in it, so she decided to use a fire extinguisher (this is something that her dad has successfully done in the past). Instead of there just being a "little poof", the entire hallway filled with chemicals that caused the fire alarm to go off in the middle of the night during finals week.

via keepsmiling

Fresh new T-shirt

2009-11-19T20:06:00.004-05:00

Check out this fresh new t-shirt design for sale in my Zazzle store.

Buy it at Zazzle.com here

Good enough for a LOL

2009-11-16T11:50:00.002-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnTe-CI-hU8

Days in the wake

2009-11-10T14:34:00.008-05:00

Presumed deaf, the young boy was also said to be mute, illiterate, and mentally challenged. Knowledgeable family members and boyhood friends and neighbors, however, confirm James Castle could vocalize but could not verbalize: he could make sounds but not shape words.

Careful consideration of his drawings and books suggest Castle had a limited writing ability, a skill he apparently was taught at the Idaho School for the Deaf and Blind.

For pens he sharpened sticks and twigs. For ink he mixed stove soot and saliva. Paper was scavenged from discarded or found materials (bulk mail, cardboard cartons, cigarette packages, discarded textbooks). To bind his books the artist borrowed or found thread, twine, string or yarn.

While the artist was never encouraged by his immediate family to make art, neither was he discouraged.

Robert Beach, the artist's nephew, recognized his uncle's genius, and brought Castle's work to the attention of art professors in Portland, Oregon in the 1950s. Their response was uniformly positive and for the next decade Castle enjoyed limited regional success in exhibitions in Washington, Oregon, California, and finally Idaho.

Family delight with Castle's initial success, however, soon soured. The family grew to distrust art dealers and curators who disassembled works or failed to return unsold works. Reputable dealers found the family unfamiliar with standard commercial practices: works for sale could not be thumb-tacked or taped to walls, nor trimmed to fit standard frames.

By the 1970s, Castle was ill and ailing and the family would have little to do with the Art world. After his death, the artist was largely forgotten, and his unsold works languished in less than archival conditions.

Castle's rebirth or rediscovery might be said to have begun in 1994 with the exhibition of over 50 of his books at the dedication exhibition of the Idaho Center for the Book (ICB) in Boise. Today, the artist's reputation has been established globally.

I Know I Say This For Every Islands Album, But...

2009-10-27T16:20:00.003-04:00

5 Stars. Listened to on repeat today.

The New Hotness

2009-10-23T13:32:00.002-04:00

Listen to this song and stomp the floor in your kitchen so hard it collapses in to the basement.

The Mae Shi- Run to your grave
(Really not that new. But hot.)

Halloween Costume For Serious Lunch

2009-10-23T10:47:00.002-04:00

Halloween Costume For Anthony

2009-10-22T11:47:00.000-04:00

Halloween Costume For Bill

2009-10-21T10:22:00.003-04:00

Halloween Costume for Tim

2009-10-20T10:48:00.002-04:00

Halloween costume for John

2009-10-20T09:22:00.002-04:00

The Power of Time Off

2009-10-12T14:16:00.004-04:00

Holy cow, what a great lecture. (video below)

Halloween costume for Bob

2009-10-08T17:20:00.001-04:00

Terrible R. Kelly Cover

2009-10-07T14:47:00.004-04:00

I downloaded this awful cover of R. Kelly's masterpiece "I'm a Flirt" from this Karaoke site. Check out the T-Pain part for laughs!

Hilarious Pics Pt.10

2009-10-02T10:59:00.004-04:00

It's our old friend Tim B.

Robin Williams

2009-10-01T15:22:00.004-04:00

Grodos, it's your boyfriends

2009-09-30T23:31:00.005-04:00

Speed dating is hard!
Featuring Kate McKinnon

Two Pretty Ladies Attend the Emmy's.

2009-09-21T10:12:00.004-04:00

Friends of Serious Lunch, Aubrey Plaza and Ellie Kemper, both attended the Emmy's last night in LA.

Hum-ina Hum-ina!

Congrats ladies.

Whitened Country Teeth

2009-09-10T11:34:00.003-04:00

You know, just like mom used to do, when she'd stick your hydroponic grow light in her mouth for hours at a time. And to think you've been paying for white teeth? Listen to your dear old mom, she grew you in her tummy.

The oval room

2009-09-08T20:57:00.002-04:00

Serious Lunch again with a new video

2009-09-08T10:27:00.001-04:00

We make videos, here's a new one!

WORK GIRLFRIEND

The new hotness

2009-09-04T20:11:00.004-04:00

If you can look into the seeds of time, and say which grain will grow and which will not, then you have gifted unto me the new hotness. -Shakespeare

Tim & Jean- Come Around

Alexa Chung in X-Men

2009-09-02T12:31:00.004-04:00

I just discovered this X-Men comic where Alexa Chung makes an appearance! I wonder what her mutant power is. Probably something to do with rapidly changing shoes.

French President Nicholas Sarkozy Interview

2009-09-01T16:10:00.005-04:00

Starring
D'Arcy Erokan
John Milhiser

Johnny Depp Gets His Own Talk Show

2009-09-01T16:05:00.003-04:00

Top New Hottest Hang out spot -> THE BATHTUB!!!!

2009-08-28T13:48:00.007-04:00

Having a daughter in the future, cause you're time traveling?- Talk it out at the bathtub.

It's Complicated- Talk it out at the bathtub. Wait till Meryl's nice and pruny.

How much are you going to miss me. THiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.

I'm almost done.

Fucking Finally

2009-08-18T13:14:00.002-04:00

Beer bellies are cool. When are zits going to be fashionable?
(via NYT)

New White Castle Commercials- with John lols

2009-08-14T11:36:00.004-04:00

Nerd Chic

Host sounds like Seth Rogen

A.D.D.

Therapy,..more like Their rapey

Dogs Rule

2009-08-03T03:34:00.003-04:00

"Doge rule, cats drool"
-William Butler Yeats

Great stuff from the guys at Black20

2009-07-24T10:38:00.002-04:00

Show it to your mom!