Monday, March 22, 2010

Congressional Republicans United In Opposition to New MGMT Album

Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KS) addresses the P4KPAC, flanked by other high ranking Republican taste-makers

Despite producing one of the most critically acclaimed debut works of all time, featuring hugely popular singles like "Time to Pretend" and "Electric Feel", Brooklyn-based musicians MGMT have encountered unilateral opposition to their follow-up album Congratulations from Republican members of the United States House and Senate. "I'm tired of looking at them, all that glammed out artsy crap." remarked House Minority Leader John Bohner (R-OH) "I heard that they're what, 25 or 26 years old? Where's all that world weariness in their lyrics come from? That's some bullshit." Reminded that the group released an unusually unique and fully realized first album, garnering praise from musicians across nearly every genre and era, Bohner replied "But they're so goddamn cocky about it. Oh, Paul McCartney wants to work with you, does he? Hipster fuckwads."

Most Democrats are approaching the new material with a level head. When asked about the album at a news conference Monday, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said "Since jealousy is what is it, haters are going to hate. But come on: tell me you didn't flip your shit over "Kids" in the summer of 2008. You did. We all did. Every one of you played that bitch on repeat for like, three weeks."   

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