Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Real 2009 Year End List (Not For Pussies)

There were lots of funny things about Tim and Anthony's "Favorite in 2009" Lists, but one of the sadder parts was that they were both written by pussies.

They'll be none of that with my list, friends. If you'd indulge me for a moment, I'd be happy to cut through the bark, trim the fat, skip ahead and get right to the truth of the matter.

And here it is: you'd be hard pressed to find someone that is less of a pussy than I, you're humble and modest listsmythe. My modesty, in fact, is surpassed only by my sheer and utter lack of being a pussy (which I am not* thank you).

So - since you now can be certain beyond the whisper of a shadow of a doubt that you are about to hear the real, pussy-free deal - let's begin.

*Sometimes I agree with pussies.

Best Movie: The Fantastic Mr. Fox

Most Fun I Had Watching a Movie This Year: Star Trek

The Two Best Movies "For Kids" That Aren't Fantastic Mr. Fox: Up, Where The Wild Things Are

Almost Best Album: Grizzly Bear - Veckatimest, Islands - Vapours, Sunset Rubdown - Dragonslayer, Passion Pit - Manners, Antony and the Johnsons - The Crying Light, Mew - No More Stories...

Best Album: Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion

Best Songs On That Album: My Girls, Summertime Clothes, Bluish

Best Songs by R. Kelly This Year: Number One, Echo, #1 Fan

Best Show on Television:
Mad Men (AMC)

Funniest New Show: Modern Family (ABC)

Best Show Ever: The Wire (HBO)

Best Cartoon: The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack (Cartoon Network)

Still Makes Me Laugh Every Week: The Simpsons, South Park

Consistently Better Than Family Guy: American Dad

Best New Yorker Cover: November 2nd, 2009 (Chris Ware)

Best Vegetable: Spinach

Best Comic: Achewood

Best Live Comedy Group: The Dan Ryan

Best Catchphrase: "I wanna hit that bitch with a shovel!" (Me)

Best Books I Read: Rabbit, Run and Rabbit Redux (John Updike)

Most Exciting Sports Moment: Alex Rodriguez' game tying two-run homer in game 2 of the ALDS

Best Video Game - (Tie) The Beatles: Rock Band, New Super Mario Bros. Wii

The Best Phone: The iPhone (why would you have a different phone?)

Funniest Writer: Gabe at Videogum

Best Cocktail: Vodka and Soda with fresh lime-juice

Best Food Deal: (Tie) Free Pizza with Drink Purchase at Alligator Lounge, Free Sake with Dinner at Sakura

Not Sayin' I Would, But If I Had To: John Hamm
Put a bow on it.

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