Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Holy shit, people. By 2011 I'll finally be able to get my giraffe degree. Personally I was thinking about going for my giraffe masters, but if it takes only 2 years, I might as well go for my giraffe doctoral. A buddy of mine got his bachelors in giraffes back in '04. What a waste of four years. Who knew the giraffe education system would flourish in '09? Who knew? I didn't, that's for sure. Thank you Firefox for not preventing this pop-up.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I do this thing where I constantly walk in front of people, because I have to be first... and I'm well aware of it. Whether you're a hot chick, an ugly dude, an old grampy, or a young scampy, get out the way because I will be first.
When getting off the elevator, I don't care if you are a pregnant woman with bound feet, I don't have time to stand behind your saunter. I should obvi be first. If I'm on line at the grocery shop, and you are ahead of me, I will throw your plantains and wheat germ down the aisle, and when you come back from fetching your foods, I will already be checked out and on my way home. At the bar, I don't care if you get there before me or know the bartender or just want water. I will smash a pint glass in your face like Leo DeCaps in The Departs, and will be first to drink. After all, first to drink, first to drunk.
If I come home at night and you're already there sleeping, I will slap you in the face and do that thing where I fake break an egg on your head by spreading my fingers through your hair, and you will wake up. Then I'll take some ambien and fall asleep before you. If I see a funny blog post, and you comment first and write in all caps 'FIRST', I will take a screenshot, photoshop your name out and replace it with my own. Then I will make it my desktop for an hour.
Just so I know I'm first.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
That Conan/Mario picture was by far the most popular thing we've put on this blog. Now that a lot more people are looking at this page how do we follow it up and keep people interested? How about photoshops of puns relating to neti pots! That will "go viral", right? Get ready, NetiLOLs are gonna tear up the internet!
Thanks to Marielena Logsdon for thinking up a bunch of these