The other day I'm at the local ski resort, swishing down the slopes, when a female Yeti gets my attention. She brings me over behind this big old sycamore and tells me a shady guy from the snow patrol has just sold her an eight ball of pure, primo shit. Claims it isn't even cut, that it's straight up rock. The whole time she's telling me this, she's rubbing my leg, like real high up on the thigh, making real deep eye contact. So obviously I get all horned up, and head back to her place to start fooling around. It's getting real heavy, and she says she wants bump up before we go any further. She goes and taps out four rails, rubs some on her gums. Nothing. Turns out it was baking soda. FML.