Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
At nite deamons come out
to do their deamon business.
Their busniess is not of human wont
vile and sinister
sour fiddles and shiver'd spindles.
Often they will lurk in forgotten places
singing fetid hymns and cursing to stray dogs and cats.
dogs and cats, they cannot curse back.
Deamons will chill out in fearsome fogs
and smoke the stems and sticks
of potent purple dosia.
getting a slight buzz.
Hark! I beg thee, for I know
they will write poems to Satan
and mail them from firey mailboxes
for Satan to recieve in a couple shiver'd days.
Deamons will slink in the blackest shadows
and when you walk by
they tickle your tits
with a sharp burst of poison'd air
from their wormy lungs
directed at your chest from several metres away.
Deamons will perch atop a fence or spire
just waiting for you to walk by
and drop a rock on your nogg'n.
They will play a game of kick-o-the-can
but instead of a can
they use a human skull.
A deamon is known
in the velvety pitch of a moonless nite
to shit on a fiendish newspapre
and wipe the papre on the windowe of your car.
Beware a deamon should you encounter one!
For I have learn'd:
O, be wary!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
This just happened:
Boss leaves the office. Boss walks back in a minute later: "I forgot my valentine's day chocolates"
My co-worker: Oh no! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Boss: you know that feeling, when you feel like you've forgotten something?
My co-worker: yeah HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Just laughing to grease the gears a little. That's life, what can you do but laugh!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Hiya Brosephs and the Amazing Techincolor Breemcoats,
Jumping on this "My other blog... not Serious Lunch... JUST ME!" bandwagon, I started a new blog called Grodoshop*. Hop on over for some stupid manipped pics and vids.
Keep your short pants on, I'll still be updating here too.
For realioz tho, check it OUT!
*Warning: Contains heavy amounts of puns
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Musical film Mama Mia has become one of my favorite films of all time, according to official reports. I was blown away right at the beginning when the blonde in a sun dress leans against a wall, slightly tilts her head down, and gives this look like "you don't know what you're in for!" Perfect. My favorite part is right in the middle when Meryl Streep puts on some OshKosh B'Goshes and braces herself in an arched doorway. You think she's going to do the trick where you step out of the doorway and your arms raise all by themselves, but instead she just casually lifts a leg and chills out. another classic moment has got to be at the end when this Zach Efron dude unbuttons his shirt down to his belly button and opens his legs like he's in a Club International photoshoot. Spoiler Alert (text in white): The twist ending is he forgot to wear socks. Throughout the film there are great cameos by sauntering guys that lean against things. Summer 2008 I took a trip down the aisle I'll never forget.
JK yous guys, I just played a trick on you! I never actually saw the movie, heh.
Meryl Streep is an amazing actress though. Did you see The Devil Wears Prada? Please let me know your thoughts.
Friday, February 6, 2009
I was running all over Greenpoint looking for a place to buy fritos so I could make a ham-frito sandwich. You know what, I couldn't find them anywhere, and I tried like a million places! I was at the last bodega, and already had the ham so, oh well, life doesn't meet my expectations yet again, I settled for cheetos in place of fritos and grabbed a 6-pack of beer. I put my items on the counter and my 20 dollar bill next to them. They bagged my stuff and asked for the money. Where did the money go? It wasn't on the counter anymore. It wasn't on the floor. She lifted up the bag and looked under there. Nope. Someone must have pocketed it when I wasn't looking! Then she took the beer out of the bag and I spotted my twenty dollar bill, stuck to the bottom of the 6-pack! She said "sticky!", and pointed. "Sticky!" I was like "yeah, more like tricky!"
You had to be there.
Shut up and read this transcript of a conversation I had with myself this morning.
Anthony: Damn it's cold outside
Anthony: How cold is it?
Anthony: It's so cold that my eyes are cumming tears.
Anthony: Ew! Get some Eye Condoms.*
Anthony: Too late! Get me a tissue
Anthony: A tissue? No! You need eye jimmy hats.
Anthony: No, this used tissue will have to do.
Anthony: Ew! Now I have sticky tears all over my face.
Anthony: No you don't. I do.
Anthony: But we're the same person.
ANTHONY: Now we are!
*Eye condoms have not been known to stop cumming of the eyes.