Friday, January 23, 2009

Wirehaired Fox Terriers Held in Death of Local Squirrel

Eddie, 4 and Thor, 3 arriving at New York Superior Court
(Photo: Madge Gay for Serious Lunch)

NEW YORK (AP) - Concluding an extensive 48 hour search, authorities have apprehended a pair of purebred fox terriers whose brazen daylight murder of a local squirrel brought gasps of horror from dozens of witnesses and shattered the otherwise idyllic peace of a winter afternoon.

Four year-old Eddie Prancer and his brother Thor, 3, were arrested at their home in Maspeth early Friday, immediately following their morning poops. They had been sought since early Wednesday evening when the duo allegedly antagonized, then playfully slaughtered the victim at Juniper Valley Park in Queens. One witness, who didn't offer a name or an address, gave a chilling first hand account of the attack. "I think they thought they was just playing with it, you know? They cornered it up against a fence and kind of just worked it in tandem. Squirrel didn't have a chance."

The dogs were charged with second degree murder and are being held without bail, according to a statement issued by the district attorney's office. Police say they were alerted to the dogs' whereabouts by their owner Radoslaw Duca, 36, of Queens. "I'm watching the ten o'clock news last night when all of a sudden I see the boys on TV, is saying the police looking for them. Oh I get so mad, you don't know. I get up from the couch and I start yelling 'Where is you boys? I kill you myself'. But they're hiding under one of the beds, so I don't go under there to get them. Is dusty. I just call the police."

This isn't the first time the brother terriers have found themselves in the doghouse with their owner. "Last year I am looking all over for argyle socks my wife give me. Up and down the house, all the drawers are opening. You know where I am finding fucking socks? The boys have them in the den and are tugging with them, back and forth. Oh I get so mad, you don't know."

Mr. Duca wasn't sure if he'd take the dogs back, should they be acquitted. "Is too much money having the boys around. They only eat that fancy Eukenuba stuff - is ridiculous. I try to give them the cheap Alpo? They break into refrigerator and eat my steaks. Maybe now I can have some steak and not have to worry about hiding it from the boys."