Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Real 2009 Year End List (Not For Pussies)



There were lots of funny things about Tim and Anthony's "Favorite in 2009" Lists, but one of the sadder parts was that they were both written by pussies.

They'll be none of that with my list, friends. If you'd indulge me for a moment, I'd be happy to cut through the bark, trim the fat, skip ahead and get right to the truth of the matter.

And here it is: you'd be hard pressed to find someone that is less of a pussy than I, you're humble and modest listsmythe. My modesty, in fact, is surpassed only by my sheer and utter lack of being a pussy (which I am not* thank you).

So - since you now can be certain beyond the whisper of a shadow of a doubt that you are about to hear the real, pussy-free deal - let's begin.

*Sometimes I agree with pussies.

Best Movie: The Fantastic Mr. Fox

Most Fun I Had Watching a Movie This Year: Star Trek

The Two Best Movies "For Kids" That Aren't Fantastic Mr. Fox: Up, Where The Wild Things Are

Almost Best Album: Grizzly Bear - Veckatimest, Islands - Vapours, Sunset Rubdown - Dragonslayer, Passion Pit - Manners, Antony and the Johnsons - The Crying Light, Mew - No More Stories...

Best Album: Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion

Best Songs On That Album: My Girls, Summertime Clothes, Bluish

Best Songs by R. Kelly This Year: Number One, Echo, #1 Fan

Best Show on Television:
Mad Men (AMC)

Funniest New Show: Modern Family (ABC)

Best Show Ever: The Wire (HBO)

Best Cartoon: The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack (Cartoon Network)

Still Makes Me Laugh Every Week: The Simpsons, South Park

Consistently Better Than Family Guy: American Dad

Best New Yorker Cover: November 2nd, 2009 (Chris Ware)

Best Vegetable: Spinach

Best Comic: Achewood

Best Live Comedy Group: The Dan Ryan

Best Catchphrase: "I wanna hit that bitch with a shovel!" (Me)

Best Books I Read: Rabbit, Run and Rabbit Redux (John Updike)

Most Exciting Sports Moment: Alex Rodriguez' game tying two-run homer in game 2 of the ALDS

Best Video Game - (Tie) The Beatles: Rock Band, New Super Mario Bros. Wii

The Best Phone: The iPhone (why would you have a different phone?)

Funniest Writer: Gabe at Videogum

Best Cocktail: Vodka and Soda with fresh lime-juice

Best Food Deal: (Tie) Free Pizza with Drink Purchase at Alligator Lounge, Free Sake with Dinner at Sakura

Not Sayin' I Would, But If I Had To: John Hamm
Put a bow on it.

2009 was my Rushmore

Great year everyone! Fuck Tim's favs. Here are my favs (favorites) for this year. For some I couldn't choose just one, so get over it.


BEST Movies: UP, Where the Wild Things Are, Fantastic Mr. Fox, District 9

BEST Albums: Sunset Rubdown - Dragonslayer, Mew - No More Stories...


BEST TV Show: LOST

BEST Video Games: New Super Mario Wii, Left 4 Dead 2

BEST Blog: Videogum



BEST Live Show: Mew at Webster Hall

BEST Ray: Blu-Ray

BEST Tears: During the first 11 minutes of UP

BEST Pants Shitting Moment: SL mentioned on The Tonight Show?

BEST Drug: Heady Boomers

BEST Friends: YOU GUYS!

Have a Happy New Year and we'll see you in TWENTY TEN! It's the future, you know.





Monday, December 28, 2009

Tim's top favorite things this year


Want to know my top favorite things in 2009? Read on, chump!

Best song: Dawn of the Dead - Does it Offend You, Yeah?

Best album: Discovery - LP

Best movie: Fantastic Mr. Fox

Best DVD: La Collectionneuse - Eric Rohmer

Best commercial: Trident Layers

Best novel: All the Pretty Horses - Cormac McCarthy

Best comic: Bodyworld - Dash Shaw

Best short story: The Youngboy (Tom Moody)

Best artist: James Castle

Best twitter: Chelsea Peretti

Best web video: Colgate Wisp by Black20

Best website: Tom Moody Blog

Best video game: Super Mario Wii

Best TV show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Best bar: Turkey's Nest (Williamsburg)


*These aren't Serious Lunch's favorite things, just my favorite things y'all

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The New Hotness For The Holidays

Tim played this for me two weeks ago. Since then it has (deservedly) become the new hotness.



Yeasayer - Ambling Alp

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

These Are All Made Up # 5

The night before last my dad comes downstairs to my bedroom and he's acting all somber and shit. I'm like "What's the problem, Pop?" He says "I just realized that you've probably masturbated at least once". FML

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Howard Roark

Just saw Taylor Lautner hosting SNL and it reminded me how much I crack myself up!

Click it! Click the picture to make it bigger and you can read my joke!


yessssssss!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Puppies!


Monday, December 7, 2009

2 Years of Slungin'

Remember this?

Of course you don't. We don't either so no big whoop.

Today is the 2 year anniversary of SERIOUSLUNCH.com. 2 years! That's a long time. It's basically the lifetime achievement award of internet comedy groups. But we didn't get an award. The academy snubbed us. We'll obviously have our revenge. And it will be served in a cold dish. Because that is the best kind of dish for revenge.

This is for all those people who've helped us out through the years. Thank you for your support. We've been through a lot to get here today. All of our parents wanted us to go to law school, and play football on a scholarship. We all failed, except for Bob who is the footballingist playing lawyer we've ever met. After all football is a dish best served on a cold plate. Are you following? Keep up.

Thank you viewers. Without your snide comments, death threats (yes Catholics,
those death threats), and hatred for anything that has to do with dicks (they're funny by the way, get over it), we wouldn't be doing what we're doing today.

It's a fun thing to make movies with your friends. We're lucky to have sick minded people like you watching, so thank you.

More SERIOUS LUNCH to come in 2010 (Twenty Ten).

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Sharks With People Teeth



whoever made this wins.

via digg

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Doritos videos! Have you seen them?

I just found out you can embed these Doritos things, rather than linking to the awful Doritos splash page. Can you believe that splash page? Jeez.
So here they are, again, and I promise not to repost them 4 lyfe.












Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Bill Maher's Outlook Window


(click to enlarge)

Monday, November 23, 2009

Phat edit sequence

I took a Final Cut class this weekend. The computer I was on had a bunch of movie trailers and student films, I used them to cut this rad video in a couple hours.



"I only tried 50% on this film" -Lars Von Trier

"Genius work comes easily to a genius" -Tim

Friday, November 20, 2009

Awesome



**Back Story**
Apparently, she wanted to make the hallway appear that it had snow in it, so she decided to use a fire extinguisher (this is something that her dad has successfully done in the past). Instead of there just being a "little poof", the entire hallway filled with chemicals that caused the fire alarm to go off in the middle of the night during finals week.

via keepsmiling

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Fresh new T-shirt

Check out this fresh new t-shirt design for sale in my Zazzle store.


Buy it at Zazzle.com here

Monday, November 16, 2009

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Days in the wake

Presumed deaf, the young boy was also said to be mute, illiterate, and mentally challenged. Knowledgeable family members and boyhood friends and neighbors, however, confirm James Castle could vocalize but could not verbalize: he could make sounds but not shape words.


Careful consideration of his drawings and books suggest Castle had a limited writing ability, a skill he apparently was taught at the Idaho School for the Deaf and Blind.


For pens he sharpened sticks and twigs. For ink he mixed stove soot and saliva. Paper was scavenged from discarded or found materials (bulk mail, cardboard cartons, cigarette packages, discarded textbooks). To bind his books the artist borrowed or found thread, twine, string or yarn.


While the artist was never encouraged by his immediate family to make art, neither was he discouraged.


Robert Beach, the artist's nephew, recognized his uncle's genius, and brought Castle's work to the attention of art professors in Portland, Oregon in the 1950s. Their response was uniformly positive and for the next decade Castle enjoyed limited regional success in exhibitions in Washington, Oregon, California, and finally Idaho.

Family delight with Castle's initial success, however, soon soured. The family grew to distrust art dealers and curators who disassembled works or failed to return unsold works. Reputable dealers found the family unfamiliar with standard commercial practices: works for sale could not be thumb-tacked or taped to walls, nor trimmed to fit standard frames.


By the 1970s, Castle was ill and ailing and the family would have little to do with the Art world. After his death, the artist was largely forgotten, and his unsold works languished in less than archival conditions.


Castle's rebirth or rediscovery might be said to have begun in 1994 with the exhibition of over 50 of his books at the dedication exhibition of the Idaho Center for the Book (ICB) in Boise. Today, the artist's reputation has been established globally.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I Know I Say This For Every Islands Album, But...



5 Stars. Listened to on repeat today.

Friday, October 23, 2009

The New Hotness

Listen to this song and stomp the floor in your kitchen so hard it collapses in to the basement.



The Mae Shi- Run to your grave
(Really not that new. But hot.)

Halloween Costume For Serious Lunch

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Halloween Costume For Anthony

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Halloween Costume For Bill

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Halloween Costume for Tim

Halloween costume for John

Monday, October 12, 2009

The Power of Time Off


Holy cow, what a great lecture. (video below)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Halloween costume for Bob

Friday, October 2, 2009

Hilarious Pics Pt.10



It's our old friend Tim B.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Robin Williams

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Grodos, it's your boyfriends

Speed dating is hard!
Featuring Kate McKinnon

Monday, September 21, 2009

Two Pretty Ladies Attend the Emmy's.

Friends of Serious Lunch, Aubrey Plaza and Ellie Kemper, both attended the Emmy's last night in LA.

Hum-ina Hum-ina!









Congrats ladies.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Serious Lunch again with a new video

We make videos, here's a new one!

WORK GIRLFRIEND

Friday, September 4, 2009

The new hotness

If you can look into the seeds of time, and say which grain will grow and which will not, then you have gifted unto me the new hotness. -Shakespeare



Tim & Jean- Come Around

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

French President Nicholas Sarkozy Interview



Starring
D'Arcy Erokan
John Milhiser

Johnny Depp Gets His Own Talk Show

Friday, August 28, 2009

Top New Hottest Hang out spot -> THE BATHTUB!!!!



Having a daughter in the future, cause you're time traveling?- Talk it out at the bathtub.



It's Complicated- Talk it out at the bathtub. Wait till Meryl's nice and pruny.



How much are you going to miss me. THiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.



I'm almost done.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Fucking Finally


Beer bellies are cool. When are zits going to be fashionable?
(via NYT)

Friday, August 14, 2009

New White Castle Commercials- with John lols

Nerd Chic


Host sounds like Seth Rogen


A.D.D.


Therapy,..more like Their rapey

Monday, August 3, 2009

Dogs Rule


"Doge rule, cats drool"
-William Butler Yeats

Friday, July 24, 2009

Great stuff from the guys at Black20


Show it to your mom!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Storytelling


When creating any piece of fictional literature it is imperative the writer first considers the nature of narrative conflict in the potential work. By recognizing the fundamental devices used to propel a story one can streamline the action and heighten the emotional impact. According to Aristotle, in order to hold the interest, the hero must have a single conflict. The agon, or act of conflict, involves the protagonist (literally: the "first fighter") and the antagonist. The easier it is for the protagonist to triumph, the less value there is in the drama. Here, then, are the basic narrative conflicts, or antagonists, a work must present:

Man vs. Man
Man vs. Nature
Man vs. Machine
Man vs. Self
Man vs. Raab Himself
Man vs. Wolfman
Man vs. Time Wolfman
Man vs. Carbs
Man vs. Melm

Choose wisely.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Live tonight!


We're live at The PIT tonight with all new material! Stop by and chill wit us.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Narcissus Googling Himself

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The New Supreme Leader of My Cult Sure Is Talking About "The Ultimate Sacrafice" A Lot

I don't even know what to think anymore. Not because I've been brainwashed, or anything shady like that. I'm still the same person I've always been since I was broken down and rebuilt in Tarkkon's image five years ago. But this new guy in charge is impossible to warm up to. I don't get his appeal, and I really don't understand why he was chosen to take us into the second epoch over someone as qualified as I am.

Honestly, it's hard to remember why I even joined this cult in the first place, almost as hard as it is to remember what my life was like before I embraced Tarkkon (all glory unto him). When our beautiful, perfect leader L. John Gibbard passed from this realm and was called up to Mount Pharginne to take his rightful place next to Tarkkon, everyone was trying to tell me things would be exactly the same around here. But I knew better! I just knew there was something off about this new guy. And now I get to cult practice this morning (only like, five minutes late, calm the fuck down everyone) and he's up at L. John's podium, talking yet again about how "one day soon, praise Tarkkon, we'll all need to follow his example and make the ultimate sacrifice".

Give me a break, new guy. First of all, you're not even fit to wash L. John's sacred culottes, don't go tossing about his realm shifting as part of your hackneyed, ra-ra "go team" bullshit. And secondly, of all the Extra-Terrestrial Omnipowerful Demigods in the cosmos to name drop, Tarkkon should be the last E.T.O.D this loser mentions. A being as perfect as Tarkkon knows when he's being sold a load of shit, and sister - this guy is moving it by the bucket-full. Don't you think once we undertake our pilgrimage to Pharginne, Tarkkon (all glory) is going to remember who was steadfast and remained true to the teachings of L. John and who was just an ass-faced poseur ordering me to mop the latrines for the SIXTH TIME EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE CLEAN AFTER THE FIRST TIME?

I'm not angry, though. Supreme Leader Ass-Face can talk all he wants about the "ultimate sacrifice". I know the real score. Me and Tarkkon "One", Ass-Face "Zero". Back when L. John was still with us, he would never have allowed someone of my stature within the org to be disrespected and insulted by a Glermax-come-lately like this douche. Manual labor? When I'm in my fifth year? It's not like we all didn't get our turn through the salt mines, bucko. We did - we all most certainly did. Bitch, I went through twice just to show L.John how serious I was. But now you wanna run around and talk about guns Like I ain't got none? What you think I sold 'em all 'cause I stay well off?

Please, new guy. Don't even.

When that glorious day comes, and I'm honored enough to lay it all down and start the second epoch, I'll be ready for it. I won't need you there to remind me about it, just like I don't need you here now yapping your fucking yap about it. All praise be to Tarkkon, and screw this new guy who's making me peel potatoes all goddamn afternoon.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Serious Lunch on MTV's Alexa Chung Show


Your boyfriends from Serious Lunch will be on MTV's It's on with Alex Chung Wednesday (today) at 12:00 noon, making jokes and making friends! If you're around try to be in the audience and laugh really hard.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

John Hodgman Tests Obamas Nerd Cred



The answers our venerable leader failed to answer were of course:

1) Shai Hulud
2) The device is called "a thumper"
3) "The Water of Life,"

I'll take Padishah Dynasty History for 500$ John Hodgman.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

No Thanks

Doesn't sound fun.

Monday, June 15, 2009

My Future is an Open Book



Holy shit, people. By 2011 I'll finally be able to get my giraffe degree. Personally I was thinking about going for my giraffe masters, but if it takes only 2 years, I might as well go for my giraffe doctoral. A buddy of mine got his bachelors in giraffes back in '04. What a waste of four years. Who knew the giraffe education system would flourish in '09? Who knew? I didn't, that's for sure. Thank you Firefox for not preventing this pop-up.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

First

I do this thing where I constantly walk in front of people, because I have to be first... and I'm well aware of it. Whether you're a hot chick, an ugly dude, an old grampy, or a young scampy, get out the way because I will be first.

When getting off the elevator, I don't care if you are a pregnant woman with bound feet, I don't have time to stand behind your saunter. I should obvi be first. If I'm on line at the grocery shop, and you are ahead of me, I will throw your plantains and wheat germ down the aisle, and when you come back from fetching your foods, I will already be checked out and on my way home. At the bar, I don't care if you get there before me or know the bartender or just want water. I will smash a pint glass in your face like Leo DeCaps in The Departs, and will be first to drink. After all, first to drink, first to drunk.

FIRST!

If I come home at night and you're already there sleeping, I will slap you in the face and do that thing where I fake break an egg on your head by spreading my fingers through your hair, and you will wake up. Then I'll take some ambien and fall asleep before you. If I see a funny blog post, and you comment first and write in all caps 'FIRST', I will take a screenshot, photoshop your name out and replace it with my own. Then I will make it my desktop for an hour.

Just so I know I'm first.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Strongly Disagree



No, New York Times. That's a bad New York Times. Why are you saying inflammatory things like this without any context? Here: you could have said any of these instead, and I would have been totally on board.