Monday, September 15, 2008

Facts Citibank knew about me in 2004

4 years later I'm still paying off my student loans, and will be for roughly the next 6. Today, though, prior to making the payment, Citibank asked me what my favorite animal is and the last name of my first girlfriend.

The latter is easy because your first "lover" is a constant. It will always be your first. The animal question confused me. It wasn't something simple like What is the name of the street you grew up on? or What is your mother's maiden name? or What can you simply not do into Mordor?

I've had my share of liking of animals. They're all pretty cool. Even giant squids. I find them terrifying but, what can I say, I love em'. But I had to pay my friggin loan this month! So I went back in time and asked 2004 Anthony what his favorite animal was. I was really disgusted with what I found out. Apparently in September of 2004, I was a stupid, ugly, whiny, baby cryer who just graduated and had the whole world in front of him/me. This is what went down.

Anthony 04: What in the name of John Kerry? Who are you?
Anthony 08: I'm you from the year 2008. I gotta pay my student loans and I need to know what our favorite animal is.
Anthony 04: How do I know you're not lying. (Yes the asshole really asked that)
Anthony 08: Dude. Look at me.
Anthony 04: I need proof.
Anthony 08: Fine. Ask me something only you would know.
Anthony 04: What's my favorite animal?

It went on like that for about an hour. Then past me had to go to work at the soul draining bagel store. While he/I was at work, I went to go see The Cookout because Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow didn't open yet.

The Cookout was really bad.

And to make things worse the jerk won't tell me my favorite animal. Now I'm stuck in 2004, working at a bagel store, living with my parents and myself.

I hate Citibank so much. Almost as much as The Cookout.