Monday, August 18, 2008

I'm Explaining The Internet to Somone From The Late Eighteenth Century



pffffffffffffff........Do you know what a typewriter is?


You know what a book is though, right? Good. Alright, so make believe you had this incredible, magical book and through some unimaginable glammer the pages within the book could be changed to say whatever you wanted them to, at a moments notice. You could arrange different lengths of text and pictures, all laid out in any style you deem appropriate for the subject you're...

No. It hasn't anything to do with specters. Or dæmons, no. You have no reason to fear ghosts within the context of what I'm telling you. Think of it as a nice, benevolent magic.

Fuck me - then don't think of it as magic. This really isn't vital to what I'm trying to get across to you, just let it go and give me the benefit of the doubt please.

Okay. so imagine everyone in the civilized world had their own enchanted book. Think of the possibilities for organizing and sharing information! Take it one step further, and imagine all of the enchanted books were able to communicate with one another, continuously archiving whatever information is shared within the network. You could look at anybody's enchanted book whenever you wanted, with a nearly endless selection of books to choose from. All delivered directly to where you happen to be at the moment you decide to request them.

No, see that's the beauty of it. There is no need for a postman, or parcel service. You're not physically exchanging magical books with one another. The books, all the books of the world, come to you.

You're not understanding me, your house doesn't need to be any bigger. It's not a physical library you're compiling. It's digital, all digital.


Electric, Lightening! Like Ben Franklin. The kite and the key and all that bullshit, didn't that happen already?

No, no not like a windmill. Stop, just stop. Forget what I said about kites.

You don't need a room to hold the books, It's all within the one original magic book, that's what I'm trying to tell you. The one book changes into whatever you want it to say. You could either make it say things of your own, or look and read all of the information other people are putting into the book. And the information doesn't just have to be text. It could be music, or videos, or slide shows.

God you have no idea what I'm talking about at all, do you? Repeat back to me what I've said. I want to hear you try and explain it, now, so I can see if any of this has gotten through at all.

Uh-huh. Right, no specters involved. Yes all the knowledge of the world, in real time.

No! Not by harnessing the power of the wind. That wasn't the point of...what? No, sailing is not a more appropriate example. I told you it was magical, the wind is not magical.

I'm not denying it - I'm just not going to debate the magic of an autumn day with you. It's entirely unrelated to...

No I don't go to church anymore...that's none of your business.

You know what? Forget it, this isn't going to work.