Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Snorlax, You Asshole

I love Super Smash Bros. I've made that abundantly clear over the past 9 years of my life. One day in junior year of high school, while home sick, my brother brought home the first incarnation of the game for N64. It quickly became a staple in our lives. My friends and I would duck outta after school activities and run home to kick ass. A few months later I played while easing into my first tripping experience. I used Kirby. All was good.

Years later, sophomore year of college to be exact, Smash Bros. Melee came out for Gamecube and life took a turn for the best. Things that happened around the release of that game? Well, while driving through the mall parking lot after picking it up, I had one of my first encounters with current Serious Lunch member Robert "Bob" Officer, who was on his way to get Melee as well. I yelled something out of my car window to the tune of "I GOT IT AND YOU DON'T!" while he walked towards his destiny. Rather than a staple, Melee was a pillar that held the foundation of my friend interactions together. I used Falco. All was great.

This past weekend I picked up Super Smash Bros. Brawl for Wii. I won't go too much into the game as a staple or pillar or any other cohesive metaphor representing the game in context to my relationship with my friends, because I've had the game less than a week. That's for another blog. What's this one about?

Three words.

The Snorlax Situation.

It started back with the original Smash Bros. After playing the game over and over and over again, my friend Evan and I started doing team mirror matches. We would put the computer at the highest difficulty, set it to team battle, and each battle a mirror of ourselves. Kirby and Samus VS Kirby and Samus. We did this because the 2 of us were so well balanced against each other, the 1 on 1 games were becoming stale.

One day while playing against our doubles, we were both down to 1 stock, as well as our combatants. A pokeball dropped from the sky. The scramble that ensued was historic in our eyes. Unfortunately the computer snagged the ball and threw it, releasing the voice that still causes me to shudder. A light shone out of the pokeball and all that was heard was, "SNORLAAAAAXXXX." He shot up into the air, off screen, on the right side of the stage, in which Evan was currently engaged. I jumped away to the left while yelling, "Dude, Snorlax! MOVE!" to which he quickly replied, "Anthony, I'm well aware of the Snorlax situation." Not aware enough. Because, to my memory Snorlax came back down, giant as always, and KO'd him. I don't remember who ended up winning the fight. To this day, and throughout the 2 sequels, The Snorlax Situation still remains. Just last night I fell victim. In Brawl there are far greater things to fear, like Final Smash Balls and the Dragoon, but I'm happy and terrified that I still have to scramble to be somewhere else when I see that fat pokemon shoot into the sky.

I'm aware this is the dorkiest thing I've ever written. More so than me creaming over Galaxy. Ya gotta sacrifice the nyucks sometimes. And hey, at least I'm writing something. Not like this guy. He HATES Smash Bros.


Barbour said...

You probably lost because you are a scrub