Thursday, March 27, 2008

Truck Bearing Kibble

StumbleUpon stumbled me over to this site which appears to be a sampler of strips from a web comic I'd never seen or heard of, Truck Bearing Kibble. Some of them elicited earnest lulz(!) and it's drawn exceptionally well.

It's very reminiscent of PBF in style and tone (does he only update once a month now?) I'll read it from now on.

Is there a better term for web comic than "web comic"? There has to be.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Winona this is proof that I love you

Monday, March 24, 2008

Hyperbolic Bourbon

I went to Baltimore this past weekend to spend Easter with my girlfriend's family. After dinner Sunday night, we went to a bar in Fells Point and I had a few rounds of Knob Creek. I really like the stuff and (acute cirrhosis of the liver aside) could most likely enjoy some every night.

But - dare I say it - sometimes it's not enough simply to enjoy. Nay, sometimes one feels the need to impart his well considered preferential wisdom upon another. You seek to describe the merits of your beloved (Toni Morrison pronunciation, please) with a rapturous adjective frenzy. Back at work this morning, I turned to "the net" for help in this regard (not having a way with words myself).

Luckily, I found a review by Michael Barnes of He's graciously done all the heavy lifting, language wise. All you have to do is sit back and revel in the hyperbole.

From the article:

Aged nine years, Knob Creek, a small-batch creation from the Jim Beam collection, attracts the nose with a sweetish allure that suggests vanilla, cherry, caramel and cola.

But, oh, does it slap the tongue with an astringent, 100-proof bite! Then it hits the back of the throat like a whiplash.

(Try tiny sips; dilute it with water or add a single ice cube.)

Enduring this assault on the senses is worth the trial, because, after the palate adjusts, the extra-long finish swims with botanical tastes. It could almost masquerade as a gin, so strong are its herbal qualities. The raw power eventually fades into subtle spices and -- surprise! -- that same sweetness suggested in the initial sniffs.


Saturday, March 22, 2008

Brock Obama

I found this on someone's myspace.

Can You Feel?

For the umpteenth time in my life, I forgot to bring my camera. Lucky for me, about a hundred sweaty nerds didn't. Here's The Pillows playing FLCL staple Hybrid Rainbow at The Blender Gramercy Theater last night.

These little asian guys sure do know how to rock and rorru - er, I mean, roll. The band seems to have finally caught on to the fact that they have a sizeable audience stateside, which means they play songs outside of the Furi Kuri ouvre. That's good, except I can't even understand the words to the songs I already do know. Regardless, if you get the chance to see this band, I recommend it. Not just because I am a giant geek. Whatever, want to fight about? I'm a minor celebrity, I get pussy. Fuck you.

Friday, March 21, 2008

I Had To Diss You, Jeffrey Lewis

Hard to explain how I'm feeling right now. I couldn't help myself. I had to do it.

My friend Ben turned me onto Jeffrey Lewis' music last year and I enjoyed some of it. The more I listened however, and the more I picked up on what his style was all about, the beginnings of a diss track began to rattle around in my head.

One night, I sat down and recorded it.

Months pass, as they have a way of doing, ya kennit? Tim tells me The Cribs are playing a show in our neighborhood. Do I want a ticket? Shit yes, I want a ticket. But what's this? The opener? Yes, Jeffrey Lewis. Suddenly, my diss track can be delivered to its target, in person. It's no longer an abstract idea, floating out there in space: I can hand this guy a CD of a song I wrote making fun of him. I debated whether or not it was a good idea. What if he's not cool about it and it hurts his feelings? What if he is cool about it, and it still hurts his feelings? I don't know what I was expecting when I wrote it (as diss tracks are constructed to hurt feelings, by design) but now that it was right there at my fingertips, I had doubts.

Ultimately, I decided to give it to him. If there's a diss track out there about me, I want it handed to me by it's composer, as he looks me square in the eye and tells me it's from the heart. Which is exactly what I did, for better or for worse. I hope he likes it. I'm sorry, Jeffrey.

Note: This is only a :30 preview of the full song. Don't know how to fix that (do you?), if you want to hear the rest, let me know.

Jeffrey Lewis' Official Site

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Whoa-oh, Ah-oh!

Feeling lazy, but we haven't had a post here since Tuesday.

How about some music videos? I'm going to see The Cribs tonight...I bet they'll play all three of these.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

AM New York is Your Daddy

Anybody see the cover of AM New York this morning? Few things I appreciate more than those rare intersections between BDSM and the financial sector.

Although, you could make the case that the Federal Reserve has been strapping a studded collar onto our nation's neck for years.

Jesus Christ!

How Ya Doin There, Wade?

Somebody took the time to transcribe the dialogue from Fargo, in it's entirety. No context, screen descriptions or character names - just unadulterated Cohen quirkiness.

Where does No Country For Old Men sit in your Cohen Bros top 5? I think it's a solid #3 behind Fargo and The Big Lebowski, but they're all such different movies.

As of right now -

  1. Fargo
  2. The Big Lebowski
  3. No Country for Old Men
  4. O Brother, Where Art Thou?
  5. Raising Arizona

All five subject to realignment depending on mood/more recent viewings

Absolut Vodka Ad

from the new Absolut "viral" campain

Monday, March 17, 2008

Rocket Straws!


Why? What else could they be?

via Fark

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Snorlax, You Asshole

I love Super Smash Bros. I've made that abundantly clear over the past 9 years of my life. One day in junior year of high school, while home sick, my brother brought home the first incarnation of the game for N64. It quickly became a staple in our lives. My friends and I would duck outta after school activities and run home to kick ass. A few months later I played while easing into my first tripping experience. I used Kirby. All was good.

Years later, sophomore year of college to be exact, Smash Bros. Melee came out for Gamecube and life took a turn for the best. Things that happened around the release of that game? Well, while driving through the mall parking lot after picking it up, I had one of my first encounters with current Serious Lunch member Robert "Bob" Officer, who was on his way to get Melee as well. I yelled something out of my car window to the tune of "I GOT IT AND YOU DON'T!" while he walked towards his destiny. Rather than a staple, Melee was a pillar that held the foundation of my friend interactions together. I used Falco. All was great.

This past weekend I picked up Super Smash Bros. Brawl for Wii. I won't go too much into the game as a staple or pillar or any other cohesive metaphor representing the game in context to my relationship with my friends, because I've had the game less than a week. That's for another blog. What's this one about?

Three words.

The Snorlax Situation.

It started back with the original Smash Bros. After playing the game over and over and over again, my friend Evan and I started doing team mirror matches. We would put the computer at the highest difficulty, set it to team battle, and each battle a mirror of ourselves. Kirby and Samus VS Kirby and Samus. We did this because the 2 of us were so well balanced against each other, the 1 on 1 games were becoming stale.

One day while playing against our doubles, we were both down to 1 stock, as well as our combatants. A pokeball dropped from the sky. The scramble that ensued was historic in our eyes. Unfortunately the computer snagged the ball and threw it, releasing the voice that still causes me to shudder. A light shone out of the pokeball and all that was heard was, "SNORLAAAAAXXXX." He shot up into the air, off screen, on the right side of the stage, in which Evan was currently engaged. I jumped away to the left while yelling, "Dude, Snorlax! MOVE!" to which he quickly replied, "Anthony, I'm well aware of the Snorlax situation." Not aware enough. Because, to my memory Snorlax came back down, giant as always, and KO'd him. I don't remember who ended up winning the fight. To this day, and throughout the 2 sequels, The Snorlax Situation still remains. Just last night I fell victim. In Brawl there are far greater things to fear, like Final Smash Balls and the Dragoon, but I'm happy and terrified that I still have to scramble to be somewhere else when I see that fat pokemon shoot into the sky.

I'm aware this is the dorkiest thing I've ever written. More so than me creaming over Galaxy. Ya gotta sacrifice the nyucks sometimes. And hey, at least I'm writing something. Not like this guy. He HATES Smash Bros.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Let this Nerd Explain Net Neutrality to You

Clinton and Obama support net neutrality, McCain does not.

Getting Bored With Your Bank Account Application?

This should help.

From ING Direct

Monday, March 10, 2008

Tony Millionaire on The Sound of Young America

Tony Millionaire, oft mentioned 'round these parts for his Maakies strip and upcoming Adult Swim show, was on the Sound of Young America this week.


The Sound of Young America: Cinematic Titanic

Evar wondr when U will die lol?

subscription requir3d 2 find out when U will die hope iz not 2 soon lol that would sux!

Friday, March 7, 2008

Artist Rendering, pt. 3

Artist Rendering:

Shitty Limericks Episode IV: A New Hope (I'm Sorry)

"In time, I think, you'll grow to love me."
Said the man that was driving the humvee.
But his mail order bride
Simply sat there and sighed
Having not heard of Stockholm Syndrummy

What the fucks up with Jeremy Piven?
Does that prick think he's god's gift to women?
He's so goddamn smug
that if push came to shove
I'd rather pretend he twern't livin'

Ever see that flick "Maid in Manhattan"?
If not, let me tell you what happens:
A nice piece of ass
and a fella with class
Share a love that is softer than satin.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Six Months Ago, John Took One Massive Dump

Hello, loyal readers (both of you)! If you're a fan of our videos, you know that there are five members of our funnyman group. However, were your only experience with Serious Lunch to be via this blog, you'd have almost no idea that John existed. Why is that?

When we started this blog last August, we figured it would be a great forum for the group's ideas and interests to mingle out in cyberspace, for anyone to observe. By and large that's been the case, and we're all rather happy with how it's turned out. The frequency of each member's postings, however, has been a bit disproportionate, with no better example than our dear, sweet John.

Six months ago today yesterday, John posted his first and only entry to the Serious Lunch blog. It still holds the distinction of having more labels than any other entry (ten!), and for a time was the longest single post any of us had composed (my short story dethroned it last month).

I encourage you to go back and read John's entry, it's a keeper. And who knows? If people show an interest, he might rethink his stance on contributing to our blog. Because what's the point in doing something unless people are watching, right Weasel?

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Even More Shitty I Am Legend Alternate Ending

via /Film

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Nobody Likes My Shitty Limericks

Ya'll might just call it malarkey
But I'd never blow coke off a car key
An engine's ignition's
A thing of precision
Like a backbeat by one Richard Starkey

Do there have to be three Law and Orders?
I'm a fan, yeah... but three Law and Orders?
"Well there's one just for sex crimes,
and the original sometimes has..."
Fuck it, I'm going to Borders

Hey genius: Don't name your son Gaylord
If you do, you're basically assured
of choosing a name
thats just 'bout the same
As calling your new baby "cock whore"


The old timey way

Artist Javan Ivey- see the video here

Monday, March 3, 2008


Sunday, March 2, 2008

Artist Rendering, pt.2

Artist Rendering: