Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Serious Lunch Goes To San Francisco

Us Serious Lunch boys are heading to California. It's time for the Visa "Life Takes" Invitational, where we are in competition with our most recent 48 Hour Film Britty First Dates

In other news, is nearing completion. Patience my pretties. You will be pleased.

See you next week!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


Doctor that isn't House says, "HOUSE!!!! What are you doing?!?! You can't do that medical thing!!! That's not standard procedure! WHAT WHAT WAHT?!?! YOU CANT PLAY YOUR CANE LIKE A GUITAR! NOT on this lad's myspace home page! You're out of order! WHO in the hell do you think you are? I'll have your license suspended!!"

House replies, "I live in suspension."

OHHHHHHH!!!! He did NOT just say that!

Thank you.

Friday, September 21, 2007

I Am a Giant Nerd

I just noticed this true fact about Minority Report. All three of the precognitives share the first name of a famous mystery author. Agatha Christie, Dashiell Hammett, and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. A quick visit to wikipedia will confirm this.

Seeing as I had nothing better to do this afternoon, I decided to share this with everyone.

...This has been another episode of:


Good Bands + Good Covers = What We Have Here

I love cover songs.

Actually I love well executed cover songs, and I think both of these are just that.

Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I present Of Montreal covering The Shins and Arctic Monkeys covering Amy Winehouse. Ka-KOW.



Thursday, September 20, 2007

Life Imitating Art

Every morning when leaving the house, there comes a point where a decision has to be made as to what I'll listen to on the way to work. I usually figure it out by the time I get down the block, but yesterday I was dumbfounded. It took me from the time I walked out the door till I got down to the G platform to decide on the ol' shuffle. Shuffle is a chance. It's like a game of Russian Roulette but instead of bullets, you get shitty songs which you have no idea why they are on your pod in the first place.

Anyway, shuffle was going kinda shitty. Bullet after bullet. The G came, I got on. As the train pulled up to Court Square, on comes that Feist song My Moon My Man. Ok thats cool. I like this song. I go up the stairs to start walking towards the E and I get on the Jetsons-like conveyor belt. Something felt familiar about the whole situation.

Then it dawned on me. The video for this song is just that. Take a gander. This made me smile through out the rest of the morning.

I understand if this get nominated for lamest blog ever.

Louis CK

I think this is Louis CK. If it isn't... oh well.
There in the background- the wonderful Pulaski bridge!

Louis CK and a Child

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

BLU makes a bomb-ass animation

As far as I know William Kentridge is the first guy to animate by taking a picture of a drawing, smudging it out and drawing the next frame, etc. rather than different cells in succession. Someone else might have done it before him but he's pretty famous for it.

This guy is using Kentridge's technique in a real enviroment rather than on paper. The light is inconsistent and the camera movement is choppy and raw like the animation. It looks like it was shot in one of the abandoned army bunkers in Wompy which adds to the rawness of it. To be explicit: this animation is raw.

The guy that made this is a Spaniard graffito artist named "BLU". I've seen his stuff before and he makes neckface look like a no-talent buster. Really though, neckface sucks.

Yum, ice cream cake!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Hamlet: Socketwrench of Denmark

Remember Madlibs? This one was 'libbed' this morning. There's something artistic in here, I'm almost sure of it.


To be, or not to smell, -- that is the tuna;
Whether 'tis nobler in the wicker chair to suffer
The slings and balls of frothy fortune,
Or to take snakes against a sea of wieners,
And by pooping end them. To die, -- to catch, --
No more; and by a catch to say we end
The shamrock and the 987 natural shocks
That flesh is tasty to,-- 'tis a castle
quickly to be wish'd. To die, --- to catch,--
To catch! perchance to jerk! ay, there's the maggot;
For in that catch of death what fairies may come
When we have tasted off this sweaty coil,
Must give us taint....

Friday, September 14, 2007

48 Hour Films

Over the past few months, SERIOUS LUNCH participated in two 48 Hour Film Competitions. The first one was regional, in our region of NY, a fine region. All the teams had to include in their films, a conference badge, a character named Tetley Fairfax, and the line "If you must know my father told me." The genre assigned to us was comedy. We made the film House of Fairfax, won 2nd Place out of over 40 teams, and the awards for Best Writing, Best Graphics, and Best Character. I'm sure you heard about it around the water cooler.

Then the weekend of Sept. 9, we participated in the "Life Takes Visa" Invitational 48 Hour Film Competition... and believe me when I tell you this. Life takes it. It takes it so deep to the point where you get that froggy feeling in the back of your gullet. This was a national competition with 10 teams from NY, 10 from LA, and 10 from San Francisco. And for this one there was no genre or character assigned, but the film had to contain a Visa card, the line "Life takes ________", be rated G (which was a bit of a challenge considering Fairfax), and be between 1-3 minutes. So we slung it out and made the film Britty First Dates.

And that's that mattress man. We fly out to San Fran at the end of the month to find out how we did in this competition. Hopefully Falcor the luck dragon will be flying with us if ya know what I mean. You don't? Then you're either too young or just had a shitty childhood.


House of Fairfax

Britty First Dates

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

VIDEO: Back To The 101

This video isn't new per se, but I hadn't seen it before this morning. It's one of my favorite songs on Albert Hammond Jr's excellent solo album Yours To Keep. The track is known simply as "101" on the US release, but I like the complete name from the Euro version.

So sue me whydontcha then shmartypants

Check Ch-Check Check Check Ch-Check it out.

Thing that will never not be funny #387

Putting the words "I'm gettin' too old for this shit." on stuff.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

In Soviet Russia game plays you

The Only Mario Level That Plays Itself - Watch more free videos

Campari Party

Campari is hosting an art opening at the Guggenheim Thursday, Sep. 20th. New contemporary art, wealthy people, and free Campari. RSVP here:

Never Ever Ever Forget

Six years ago today, our nation was forever changed. When we awoke that temperate September morning, we inhabited a world that did not exist but a few hours hence, when we laid our weary heads to rest. In our arrogance, we assumed certain things to be permanent; that they would always be there, the same as the day we first began to love them.

I am, of course, referring to Ben Folds, who's Rockin' the Suburbs album was released September 11, 2001. Ben Folds Five was on my short list of favorite bands back then, and I awaited his solo debut with baited breath and high expectations. While the album garnered some significant play in my dorm room back then, I hardly ever return to it. Now in the twilight of my salad days, I find myself preferring the muted jazziness of The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner, with its moody tunes about misspent youth and failed marriages. The uber-clean synth-pop production that dominated Rockin' would prove the 'jump off' for a steep decline in my Ben Folds fandom, so much so that years later I didn't even buy his follow-up album

So even though the events of September 11th forever altered my perception of Ben Folds' musical output, I'd like to think that I've become a stronger, more resilient and (yes) more righteous person since then. I've never been more certain that I am of a chosen people, steadfast and unwavering in the belief that I need to take whatever steps are necessary to preserve my musical tastes and propagate them around the globe. Because we can never, ever, let something like 9/11 happen again.

Monday, September 10, 2007


From the Wikipedia entry for T-Pain

Watch These Guys Take A Taste

How the hell do you not get arrested when you tape yourself doing this? I bet if it was a fat ugly bald guy and not a couple of jock douches, this all might have been less 'viral' and more 'litigate-y'

Friday, September 7, 2007

Birfday Panduh

Hppay Birfday Panduh. U R one years old today LOL!!2!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

The Voice in My Head

In light of America's obesity problem, I thought I'd like to share a simple technique that has kept my waistline from expanding. My methodology does not involve speed pills, starvation, Richard Simmons tapes, or intimidating machines with names like "Ab Chiseler Pro," or "Dick Sexier-er 9000."

Are you overweight? Do your saggy man-boobs make that hot co-worker look at you with her lips pursed in that sour lemon face that makes you imagine how awesome it would be to lick her mouth even as she wordlessly shoots you down?

Three words: R. Lee Ermey(Some readers may have to Wiki that).

Here's what you do - pretend the actor/former drill sergeant is having a conversation with you at all times. This can be disconcerting at first, but the size of your balls will increase two-fold in a few weeks (Note: This is not an actual size increase, it is due to the fact that your shrinking stomach will allow you to actually see your balls).

In fact, if you can get Girltalk to mash-up the beginning of Full Metal Jacket to like, KFDM and have that playing on an iPod permanently grafted to your bulbous, encephalitic-like head, even better!

Here's an idea of what it's like:

"Oh man, I really wanted to jog a mile tonight, but it's sprinkling outside."
"How tall are you son?"
"Huh? What? I'm like five-nine."
"HOLY SHIT! I didn't know they made pussies that wide!"
"Hey that's pretty mean dude."
"Shut your goddamn hole before I break your jaw and skull fuck you you pot-
bellied nerd!"
"What? I don't have to listen to -"
"Put your filthy hands on your chest!"
"Do it!" (slaps)
"Okay" (whimpers)
"Squeeze them! You best enjoy it because these are the only tits you
get to touch! Do you get me!"
"Yes sir!"
(Ermey throws your copy of Metroid Prime 3 onto the neighboring roof)
"Oh, were you playing that?"
"Maybe if you do a situp I'll get it down for you! Now get down and give me

Fat problem solved. Next issue.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Pleasures and Routines

My morning and evening routines are what keep me in order. It can get boring and tedious, however I manage to find simple pleasures that can make or break my day. For example, I enjoy waking up, leaving my room and seeing the bathroom door wide open, telling me it wants me inside of her. Sure I'm getting sloppy thirds from her and some mornings I even get sloppy fourths (if one of my roomates has gotten lucky), but she wakes me up everytime. After my shower, I'm usually too tired to dry with that towel of mine. It involves bending, twisting, rubbing, shouting and dipping. So I tend to just jump back under my covers and let my bed sheets do the job while I rest.

My morning commute, right now, is a joy. The weather, the sites, the train all go hand in hand making my commute quit exhilirating. I leave my front door and skip (yes skip) across the Pulaski bridge. At the top, I turn to my left and say 'goodmorning' to Manhattan. I tend to walk fast on the downward slope of the bridge, passing fellow Greenpoint commuters. I always feel the hairs on the back of elbows stand up when I pass them. I feel that they think, that I THINK, that I am better than them cause I walk faster. I just don't want there to be a chance of me missing the train, simply because I didn't pick up the pace a little. I mean c'mon people it's not rocket surgery. I do feel dumb sometimes, though: When I'm the one sweating on the subway platform out of breath, and the fat slow people who decided to take leisurly walks across the bridge (still sweating of course) arrive on the platform just as the 7 train is arriving. They grin at me. I ignore them.

I get so excited when I see the trains lights peer up from the distance. In the morning I wait for the 7 train which takes me into midtown . I do get very aggrivated when the other side of the track, heading into Queens, has train after train arriving with no one in the carts. But I know I can always rely on the 7 train to come get me in a timely fashion. I never get mad, I just always get scared that others will think the 7 is a bad train. When I don't see you coming I begin thinking, c'mon buddy don't dissapoint. You don't want to do this to me, to them, to the sweat hog or most importantly to youself. Your a good train and I know that

...And then you wink at me as you come into sight.

"Goodmorning 7."
" It is a good morning John. And it is nice to see you. New shorts?"
" What these? Yeah I thought plaid shorts would be in. So I made sure to be the first one to get them from the GAP. But then the summer went by and I was the only one with them."
"Haha. That's so you."

The train the stops. I know exactly where the door opens.

"I want you inside of me John."

Another miniscule treat that gets me all happy is seeing this -> (1) in my gmail account, minimized at the bottom of my monitor. I can't stand having a number in between those. I always have to set it back to nothing. Just so I can see that fine looking (1). I'm getting all excited just from writing that.

So then the work day goes on and I usually take the 7 home. But on occasion If I'm downtown I'll hop on the "L" train. The trendiest but most inconsistent train. I don't mind the "L", it can be very crowded. That can be a good or a bad thing. You know....To get to Greenpoint from the "L" I have to transfer to the G. This is the worst train of them all. It can ruin a person. The G train knows when you have to piss. It knows when you're late. It won't help you. In all of my travels over the past two years through BK, I can only think of a couple of times when I have fell down the stairs and have seen the G, sitting there waiting for me. Other times I pace back and forth, waiting. I bet you I've waited there for 45 minutes at one time. But I'd be lying if I didn't say that seeing that little goofy green G sign approach wasn't one of the most joyous sights I have ever seen. I'll always talk behind it's back.

But when it finally does approach I say, "Aw G! I can't stay mad. You're never going to learn, are you?"
"Shut the fuck up!"
"Easy G!"

G has got his own schedule and rules. But I guess I like the A holes.

So my day is done and I lay myself to sleep. I then make myself. What can I say it's a routine. It's a pleasure and a routine. A very important routine, at that. It disciplines me into doing laundry. Every piece of laundry belongs in that basket. If I neglected my routine, I'd never feel the need to do laundry. It's like putting a tag on a shirt, a sock, a boxer, a scarf, a neck tie or a wallet belt that says, " I have been worn. And I need to be cleaned."

This routine teaches me to be a man and to do my own laundry. I'm an adult now and I should do my own laundry. My routine when visiting home is to run in with my basket of laundry and to throw a LOAD in. Because if I let it sit in there for more than 5 min, I'll walk in to see my mother handling my dirty knickers. EEEEeeshh!


Remember that guy Kenna? He's the one that needs the free time. He has a new album out October 17th.

INTERVIEW: Tony Millionaire and Eric Kaplan

Everybody in Serious Lunch (not sure about YJ, but probably) is a big fan of Tony Millionaire and his Maakies comic strip, which has been syndicated weekly for more than thirteen years. This past spring the folks at [adult swim] aired a pilot based on the strip entitled The Drinky Crow Show and, lo and behold, it was picked up and put into production as a series.

This is outstanding news.

While there are no details about how many episodes have been ordered, it seems like a spring/summer '08 debut is most likely, with Superjail, a pilot that aired directly before Drinky Crow, set to air around Memorial Day.

Here is a recent interview from with Tony and producer Eric Kaplan, who is the other main creative force behind the upcoming show.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Look At This Talented Young Nerd

Behold what he hath wrought.