Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Important Scientific Breakthroughs in the Career of Steve Urkel

Steve Urkel is known, amongst other things, for having invented devices that were previously thought of as impossible whithin the scientific community. These include:

  • the Urkel Bot (Many Other Functions), an intelligent robot that fell in love with Laura Winslow and briefly became a police officer.
  • the Transformation Chamber, which turned Urkel into an entire february sweeps worth of hilarious characters. Urkel was known to regularly pull level two and three Norbits following the transformation chamber breakthrough. These wackies famously included Stefan Urquelle, and (less famously) Black Elvis. Initally, the effects were temporary, but this error was corrected in subsequent versions of the chamber's firmware.
  • Boss Sauce, a serum created by Urkel through genetic engineering that would multiply the very few 'cool genes' he had. Combined with the effects of the Transformation Chamber, this serum turned Urkel into the aforementioned, cool and suave Stefan.
  • the Expansion Machine, which made objects bigger, except for a few instances when it would malfunction and shrink things instead;
  • the Cloning Machine, which created a second Urkel, but only after a significant delay. As a result, Urkel initially thought the machine didn't work. Eventually, the resulting clone was permanently turned into Stefan;
  • the Urk-pad was a teleportation pad which sent Urkel to Paris; and back.
  • the Time Machine, which Urkel knew was functional before a single viability trial had been performed. Steve recieved the advance confirmation when Carl Winslow saw a "Future Urkel" appear in the living room. Later, after combining the power of the time machine with his unprecedented Urk-Pad capabilities, he could "travel anywhere in history." (This is a fact).
  • Ice in a can. Simple. Brilliant. Ice in a Can.
  • Termites that consume wood thousands of times faster than normal. Practical and terrifying.
  • Love potion (with antidote in case of j/k's!!).
  • the Lawn chair, an actual piece of furniture that Urkel modified to sprout grass on the exterior. The man had a sense of humor about his genius.
and finally...
  • Vegetable Bombs. During the same furious creation session that produced his revolutionary lawn chair, Urkel invented vegetables that explode. In the late 90's, he was in negotiations to sell this design to the US Military. There is no word of this being either completed or abandoned.

Oddly enough, these inventions were the only unrealistic elements of the Family Matters show, and most plotlines were far more based in reality.

adapted from wikipedia