Monday, November 19, 2007

The Friend Test

Dear Tim

I just want you to know, like, we're good friends right? It's been, what? Seven years since we discovered our mutual fascination with Eraserhead and weird movies and shit? So like, we're good friends and all, but I wanted you to know that, like, if there were a situation where, let's say, I get to bang all of the Spice Girls at once, at the expense of our friendship - I would probably bang the Spice Girls. I mean, dude, we're good friends right? But, like, I can't pass up a quintuple team that includes Victoria Beckham. Ok, so let's say like, maybe if it were only Scary Spice. If it were only Scary I'd turn the offer down. She's be all like, "hey Bob, come get your dick wet!" And I'd be all like, "bitch don't you know 'bout bros before hoes?!" And she'd be all "Hmmm, I'm hot!" And I'd be all like, "Quit trippin'! Get your shitty curls straightened out you Scary Ho. Why you so Scary! Daaaaamn!"

Yours Truly,

B Boy O

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