Tuesday, October 30, 2007

An Unsavory Conversation I Had With The Lights Out Right Before Falling Asleep


INT. - Bedroom - Night

Complete darkness and silence. Broken by a female voice...

"Ugh, do you smell that?"


"Yeah"

"Ugh! It smells like farts."

"Yeah, it's not a good smell"

"What is it?"

He sits up to smell the comforter, thinking it may stink following the previous weekend's house party.

"It's not the blanket. I don't know. It's probably just Greenpoint."

"Yeah, probably. Phew!"


They lay back down.


The same female voice, moments later.


"It really does smell. It smells like Chip Farts"

"What?"

"You know, Chip Farts?"

"No, I don't know what Chip Farts are."

"It's like...God, what's it like?"

"I don't know. Don't try and describe it"

"No. I'm going to try."

"Please don't."

"It's like, there are two kinds of farts. There's the ones that just smell disgusting. Like 'Oh God That's Disgusting'."


"Uh-huh"


"And then there are the kinds of farts that are just unpleasant, you know? Like you smell them and you're like 'Yuck, who farted?' It's a bad smell but its not like, awful. It's like the smell you get when you open a bag of chips. You're like 'Ugh, who's got Chip Farts?' Like someone was eating chips. Do you know what I mean?"

"No, not at all."

"Seriously?"

"Not even a little. Go to bed."

FADE OUT

1 comments:

karina said...

I totally know what she means.