Friday, August 31, 2007

Two Paychecks a Month is Bollocks

I got paid this morning, in an unwarrantably surly fashion. The dog-faced lady from payroll came scooting over to my desk and looked at me for like a full three seconds before saying anything ( its longer than you think - try it). She then took yet another second to look down at the collection of envelopes in her hand. Finally, she blurted out "William?" and her eyes widened in an accusatory fashion, like she was daring me to be William. I nodded my head, and took the envelope she offered.

So the real bitch about all of this is that the scene described above is only going to play out twice a month from here on out. I've never been on the twice a month payment schedule before and frankly I'm not looking forward to it. I foresee some lean times right around the 13th-15th of the month, waiting for that next injection into the checking account. If nothing else, it will force me to stick to a budget, know...silver lining on every cloud. Geeehh.


Last week I blogged myself into a veritable tizzy over the new M.I.A. album. Check out this little video Diplo put on YouTube of some behind the scenes work on "Paper Planes".

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Let Live Me!

In response to Bill's post below, this picture, from Daily Puppy, further drives the point of why you should not eat dogs, because...

1. They are cute.
2. This one in particular has a very human-like face. It thinks it's people!

Not that Bill is encouraging dog eating. That's just wrong.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

YukYukYuk! YummyYumYum!

Tasty Treat! <---Click and discover the magic.

"The breed does not matter, unless you have certain preferences."

Ho-ly shit.

Justin Timberlake: Michael Jackson:: The Tough Alliance: Rick Astley

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

UPDATE - John is Alive

Here's looking forward to the first posting from John!

In the meantime listen to this album.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Five Things to do if Your Balls Are Shot Off Because of a Tragic War Injury

1 Trim pubes without fear of injury.
2 Re-read The Sun Also Rises; sympathize.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

I wish I made this

for reals- skip to 3:00 (1:30 remaining) and watch the wolf.

This video is fucking bonkers!

Oh, and this one:

I wouldn't be surprised if Spike Jonze were the guy making these, although there's a bunch of stinkers on the youtube page already. I love the shitty VHS tape-to-tape pause screen at the beginning of each clip.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

A Round of Applause for Maya, Please

Maya Arulpragasam, known by n00bz the world round as M.I.A., just dropped her new album Kala and it bangs. There isn't a track on the record that I don't like, but this one is probably my favorite. The gunclap/cash register chorus is sick.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

This Ain't No Vincent Gallo (Brown) Bunny!

dis r4bbitz awl like "i'll h4unt u 4eva ohhhhhh!"

and teh gurlz awl like "OMG NO U W0NT! I LUV TAHT D0NN13 D4RK0 M00V13 LOL!!1!"

Monday, August 20, 2007

Acid Quiff

Via Cory Arcangel

R Dot Gets a Rave From The Old Gray Lady

For the artist living in today's world of drive-thru liquor stores and instant tapioca, there is nothing quite like having one's brilliance recognized by an esteemed and venerable institution of criticism. While Serious Lunch is unfamiliar with such accolades thus far, a certain Robert Sylvester Kelly is not. Chapters 13-22 of the Trapped in the Closet series was reviewed in today's New York Times Arts Section, and it stops just short of calling the new chapters brilliant.

I will not stop short. I say 'brilliant' without a speck of irony or sarcasm. They are that good.

Basically if you don't think they're at least 'awesome' we can't hang out no more. For reals.

Don't Stop Be-peevin'

Like most people, there are a few things that really peeve me. I wouldn't call these things "pet" peeves, as they are not that close to my heart.

One peeve I've noticed over the past few weeks is how the G train tilts inbetween Greenpoint Ave and 21st/Van Alst (or as I like to call it 21st/Van Awfulst). Picture this if you will. You get on the train and there is no room to grab onto any bars. So to make up for the train's sudden "jerking" movement, you spread your legs to brace yourself. It's a common practice on the G train. I dunno about any other lines. Unfortunately the G train ALSO tilts to the right while in between those 2 stops. So your all braced and whatnot, and then all of a sudden you start falling. Everyone falls over, even the ones who are lucky enough to get seats. The tilt is THAT bad.

The totally neat thing about me though, of which there are a few, is that my right leg is longer than my left leg by the EXACT AMOUNT OF THE G TRAIN TILT! So all I have to do is stand the other way. For you laymen, it's like standing on a skateboard the other way. The non-conventional way. Not many people can do that. The problem with my competing leg lengths though, is that I can't walk most other places because I fall the fuck over!

So I guess the G train tilt doesn't "peeve" me.

You know what does though? That movie Smokin' Aces. Really. Fuck that movie. It makes no sense.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

My roommate Kindel is 75% water

Although she does not appear to be made of liquid this is a true fact: her body is composed of 70%-75% water at any given time. Unfortunately she has no super powers as a result of this. She also doesn't earn money in a freakshow or circus or something exploiting her condition.

Surprisingly, she does not consider it courteous when you pour a bunch of water on her or spit on her.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Job Opportunity


Professional with experience taming canines of troubled disposition.

Must be comfortable working with dogs that have unusual barks. Examples include dogs that say things like, "bowie wowie," and "oh, bow, oh, wow." Less common are those without lisps, but heavy accents or weak English skills; commonly heard going, "woof, mein,"and "woof yo, yo, woof dog, woof!"

Dog Lisperers may apply to

Friday, August 17, 2007

Writing by Peter Nguyen

Click to enlarge

Via the blog of Grace Lee The Great (I think she's the girl from "The Suite Life of Zach and Cody")

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Chamber Pop (Baroque Pop)

Baroque pop as a style originated in the mid 1960s as the flipside of sunshine pop. It used similar orchestrations but was infused with a melodramatic edge which differed. Much of The Beach Boys' Pet Sounds would fall into this category, as would a lot of the later work of Phil Spector. Scott Walker is another important figure in the genre. Others include:

-The Beatles
-The Association, particularly owing to Curt Boettcher
-Burt Bacharach
-Serge Gainsbourg
-The Left Banke
-The Millennium
-Nirvana - the original UK-based band lol
-Harry Nilsson
-Van Dyke Parks
-The Free Design
-Judee Sill
-The Zombies
-Emitt Rhodes

Modern baroque pop, characterized by an infusion of orchestral arrangements or classical type composition within an indie or indie pop setting, is often referred to as chamber pop, and sometimes chamber rock.

Popular baroque pop artists today include:

-Kate Bush
-Antony and the Johnsons
-Fiona Apple
-Arcade Fire
-The Dears
-Metallica (the "S&M" album)
-Badly Drawn Boy
-Richard Barone
-Belle & Sebastian
-Andrew Bird
-Jon Brion
-Broken Social Scene
-The Decemberists
-The Divine Comedy
-Jeremy Enigk
-Final Fantasy
-Wolf Gaffigan
-The Hidden Cameras
-Kings of Convenience
-Jens Lekman
-Sondre Lerche
-Margot and the Nuclear So and So's
-Mean Red Spiders
-Mercury Rev
-Naked Raven
-Neutral Milk Hotel (now on indefinite hiatus)
-Joanna Newsom
-Okkervil River
-Peter Bjorn and John
-Matt Pond PA
-The Sharp Things
-The Shins
-Duncan Sheik
-The Sleepy Jackson
-Elliott Smith
-Regina Spektor
-Sea Wolf
-Sufjan Stevens
-Kevin Tihista
-The Unicorns (now defunct)
-The Velvet Teen
-Very Secretary
-The Visible Men
-Rufus Wainwright
-Patrick Wolf

Next time I will discuss:
Fugue Pop, Dirge Pop, Madrigale Spirituale Pop

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Bump This Hot Jam For Your Secret Crush

Ask her over to watch a movie, dim the lights, light a Yankee Candle, turn up the speakers and get ready to bone until you cannot bone a second longer.

Potential Desktop Wallpaper


Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Holy Cow!

One of my favorite sports figures died today, Hall of Famer Phil Rizzuto.

Some of my earliest memories are of listening to him call the Yankee games on my local WPIX Ch. 11 growing up.

I'll have one for you tonight, Scooter.

Ben Linus Hates Hale and Hearty

Today on my lunch break I went to Hale and Hearty with some co-workers. While wading around the place, waiting for my co-workers to pay for overpriced salads, in walks Ben Linus aka Henry Gale aka actor Michael Emerson from LOST. I contemplated going over to him and doing a polite, "Hi how are ya? I'm a big fan." I mean the guy plays one of the creepiest, coolest characters on TV. While thinking about all of the possible scenarios of how he would react, he said something to the woman he came in with like, "I don't want anything from here." And with that he was gone.

Remember when Apu mistakenly thinks Homer is going to rob him because he has a gun and Homer goes into a dream about how life would be if he robbed the Quik-E-Mart and he pictures himself sitting on a rocking chair spinning the gun around his finger and Marge is doing a Go-Go dance and when he wakes up, hes already in the car on the way home, having not actually robbed the Quik-E-Mart? Remember that?

That's how I felt.

Sick of BoingBoing posts about "steampunk" stuff?


Monday, August 13, 2007

Kevin James has a monkey face

Kevin James' face on the Chuck and Larry poster is devoid of expression, like this monkey's face.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Hi! I'm Billy from Serious Lunch.

I wish I made this.

Shut Your Zitty Face


So what if I don't like paying outrageous ATM fees in the city? Stop calling me cheap. Is this about that six dollars I borrowed for that cab? It probably is you goddamn scheister.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Saturday Afternoon Alley Cat

Hi there! Good to be here. Enjoy your visits.

Please, have an alley cat

Friday, August 10, 2007

YouTube All-Star: Ian Crossland

Have you seen this guys videos? He's posted 140 of them.

Give it a watch and see how long you can take it!

grand opening

Hello Ladies and Germs

Welcome to the Serious Lunch blog. This post is the "jump-off".